By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 676
You deserved it 3 452

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I read this FML 4 times now, so I will stick with my initial comment of, "what the... ****...?


"I'm pretty sure that's what the FML said" -#30

Yea it probably did. **** your husband's life OP, that roach just interrupted the sanctity of a peaceful shit. One of the worst things that can happen to a man.

I can't believe that was actually funny. Usually those puns make me roll my eyes.

winnerme123 8

Why wouldn't you be? One day they will rule the world. Mwa-hahahahahaha

Totally off topic but ....... Who likes ****???

I'd do the exact same thing. Cockroaches are ******* scary.

hwkfan1 10
ulis_fml 6

This Fml makes me think of the song "he can't even bait a hook"

I LOVE how OP said "disposed of the body"!!!! Lol

At least you didnt have to wipe his ass :)

154rct 7

They're in a really shitty situation *rimshot*

I would say bomb the house but roaches survive nuclear attacks -__-

I read this FML 4 times now, so I will stick with my initial comment of, "what the... ****...?

At first read, I read, "I found my husband with his penis around his ankles" and pictured a case of manscaping gone wrong.

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who thought it said penis.

Omg that is what I thought to. We now know who the man in the relationship is though

Got to get a restraining order on that pest, it needs to learn to respect your privacy

miniluda12 12

So she killed her husband & helped the cockroach wipe his ass?

4- Here in Australia the cockroaches can be bigger than six inches long. Locals keep them as pets, have cockroach races and other entertaining events with them. *Shudder*.

uhwhiteguy 0

Duh, what else do u think happened

82- I REALLY hope u were being sarcastic

MassiveBerry 9

I read the first bit and expected him to be dead in the shower.

ripresno 10

Simply finding a dead body is nowhere near worthy to be on FML but when a grown man is found screaming like a little girl due to the presence of a cockroach that is worthy.

I feel like there should have been some warning signs prior to this event that your husband is a complete puss... YDI

Lizza330 28

Why can't guys be scared of bugs?

This doesn't make him a "puss" at all. Guys have their phobias just like girls do. My boyfriend's afraid of heights and that doesn't make me see him any differently.

So does it make me a puss that I have a fear of all bugs? I'm sure you are just an inconsiderate little prick who thinks you're all that in a bag of potato chips.

"I'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!" ...sorry, couldn't resist. x3

1crabbygirl 10

I wonder if ball size is actually getting smaller as men become terrified of crawly things and listen to Bon Iver. Bitches, please.

justmethough 8

I understand a normal bug phobia. Lot's of people are afraid of bugs. But I think the fact that op had to stay afterwards while her husband wiped his ass, is a bit much.

PhishloverA 14

Just because a guy has a phobia doesn't mean he's a puss

As if "Da ****" is so wrong that it needs to be corrected to "dafuq"? "Dafuq" looks fairly stupid, IMO.

Come on, cockroaches are ******* scary. But thats probably just my irrational fear of all bugs speaking.

hockeyoceancity 13

If you have ever watched the movie "Borat" you will understand why they are so scarey...

Not only cockroaches, but the entire insect kingdom!

38- I haven't yet, but we own it so I'm going to watch it tonight. :)

hockeyoceancity 13

80- Haha good luck! It's such a funny movie! Do not. DO NOT watch "Bruno" i was scarred for life... But let me know how you like it!

140- Haha! I'll take the advice buddy.

So I'm guessing you wear the pants in the relationship. I'm a girl and I hate roaches but never needed comfort when seeing one. Imagine if it touched him.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I don't know if it's right to criticize his fear, Kiki, those cockroaches are pretty scary. :/

Ever heard of this thing called a "phobia"?

Inediblepeaches 15

My 5 year old sister would be tougher than that. No, really. She would finish what she was doing and leave the room. Tell him to man up.

Or he might have a fear of bugs. Or the cockroach was carrying a knife. There are those possibilities.

"I'm gonna cut you up so bad, you're gonna wish I didn't cut you up so bad"

Or a gun. You never know it may be a rough neighborhood and the roach was a rapist.