Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered...

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/7/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31550

You deserved it

3436

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Top comments

By BillyMadisonFTW | 5

#4674081 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:57

Did it scare the shit out of him?

By Drigr | 8

#4674083 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:57

I read this FML 4 times now, so I will stick with my initial comment of, "what the... fuck...?

Comments

By BillyMadisonFTW | 5

#4674081 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:57

Did it scare the shit out of him?

charlotte69er | 7

#4674203 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 0:41

"I'm pretty sure that's what the FML said" -#30

KBeatz | 5

#4674222 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 0:47

Yea it probably did. Fuck your husband's life OP, that roach just interrupted the sanctity of a peaceful shit. One of the worst things that can happen to a man.

MCRaddict15 | 15

#4674295 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:27

I can't believe that was actually funny. Usually those puns make me roll my eyes.

winnerme123 | 8

#4674296 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:27

Why wouldn't you be? One day they will rule the world. Mwa-hahahahahaha

ablueshka | 0

#4674332 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:47

Totally off topic but ....... Who likes porn???

adamo_erebus | 25

#4674470 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:25

I'd do the exact same thing. Cockroaches are fucking scary.

hwkfan1 | 10

#4674845 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 4:29

So he's a screamer? :)

ulis_fml | 6

#4675258 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:15

This Fml makes me think of the song "he can't even bait a hook"

YessyxD | 8

#4675278 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:21

I LOVE how OP said "disposed of the body"!!!! Lol

Tophatz98 | 5

#4675389 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 8:18

At least you didnt have to wipe his ass :)

154rct | 7

#4675407 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 8:32

They're in a really shitty situation

*rimshot*

yoyoforpeace | 14

#4675459 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:04

I would say bomb the house but roaches survive nuclear attacks -__-

By Drigr | 8

#4674083 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:57

I read this FML 4 times now, so I will stick with my initial comment of, "what the... fuck...?

gribbles | 12

#4674287 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:23

At first read, I read, "I found my husband with his penis around his ankles" and pictured a case of manscaping gone wrong.

botanistjessica | 24

#4674938 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 5:05

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who thought it said penis.

mars13_fml | 8

#4675094 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 6:14

Omg that is what I thought to. We now know who the man in the relationship is though

Webslinger66 | 10

#4676360 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 18:17

For better or for worse

By Docbee | 11

#4674084 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:57

Got to get a restraining order on that pest, it needs to learn to respect your privacy

miniluda12 | 12

#4674352 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:54

So she killed her husband & helped the cockroach wipe his ass?

zandalee | 19

#4674548 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:42

4- Here in Australia the cockroaches can be bigger than six inches long. Locals keep them as pets, have cockroach races and other entertaining events with them. *Shudder*.

uhwhiteguy | 0

#4674969 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 5:21

Duh, what else do u think happened

Jessicalmorann | 0

#4675553 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:37

Hell yeah

hiphopchick7 | 1

#4675925 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:53

82- I REALLY hope u were being sarcastic

By MassiveBerry | 9

#4674085 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:58

I read the first bit and expected him to be dead in the shower.

ripresno | 10

#4674522 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:37

Simply finding a dead body is nowhere near worthy to be on FML but when a grown man is found screaming like a little girl due to the presence of a cockroach that is worthy.

By cjrand | 7

#4674089 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:58

I feel like there should have been some warning signs prior to this event that your husband is a complete puss... YDI

Lizza330 | 28

#4674145 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 0:20

Why can't guys be scared of bugs?

TinyEMT | 6

#4674223 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 0:48

This doesn't make him a "puss" at all. Guys have their phobias just like girls do. My boyfriend's afraid of heights and that doesn't make me see him any differently.

AbbyAbyss | 5

#4674344 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:51

So does it make me a puss that I have a fear of all bugs? I'm sure you are just an inconsiderate little prick who thinks you're all that in a bag of potato chips.

Shadow_Blues | 10

#4674876 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 4:45

"I'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!"
...sorry, couldn't resist. x3

1crabbygirl | 10

#4676224 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 17:18

I wonder if ball size is actually getting smaller as men become terrified of crawly things and listen to Bon Iver. Bitches, please.

justmethough | 8

#4676326 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 17:58

I understand a normal bug phobia. Lot's of people are afraid of bugs. But I think the fact that op had to stay afterwards while her husband wiped his ass, is a bit much.

PhishloverA | 14

#4680625 - Thursday 12 July 2012 23:15

Just because a guy has a phobia doesn't mean he's a puss

By ACE1442 | 16

#4674091 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:59

Da fuck?

SephoraGypsy | 15

#4674440 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 2:17

*dafuq?
Even then it is pathetic.

FlyingPie | 17

#4675312 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:29

As if "Da fuck" is so wrong that it needs to be corrected to "dafuq"? "Dafuq" looks fairly stupid, IMO.

By beef25967 | 2

#4674092 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:59

Well I guess you married a girl.

Nyx7 | 24

#6063255 - Friday 12 September 2014 19:58

Don't lump him in with us, we can handle shit better than that

HerWrongHole247 | 18

#6625527 - Saturday 11 June 2016 2:01

that's racist

By AbbyAbyss | 5

#4674095 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:59

Come on, cockroaches are fucking scary. But thats probably just my irrational fear of all bugs speaking.

hockeyoceancity | 13

#4674195 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 0:39

If you have ever watched the movie "Borat" you will understand why they are so scarey...

nachiketin | 10

#4674318 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:37

Not only cockroaches, but the entire insect kingdom!

AbbyAbyss | 5

#4674339 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:49

38- I haven't yet, but we own it so I'm going to watch it tonight. :)

hockeyoceancity | 13

#4675073 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 6:05

80- Haha good luck! It's such a funny movie! Do not. DO NOT watch "Bruno" i was scarred for life... But let me know how you like it!

AbbyAbyss | 5

#4675218 - Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:06

140- Haha! I'll take the advice buddy.

By Kiki242 | 19

#4674096 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 23:59

So I'm guessing you wear the pants in the relationship. I'm a girl and I hate roaches but never needed comfort when seeing one. Imagine if it touched him.