Miscellaneous: Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my...

By Anonymous - 27/12/2018 18:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I realized the only real accomplishment I've had in my life that I take any pride in is that I've had an FML published. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 383

You deserved it 432

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 296

You deserved it 7 679

FML brings solace

By Depresso - 24/07/2021 16:01

Today, I checked this site to find out that my previous submission had made it onto the main page. This has been the sole highlight in my life for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 212

And yet, here you are! Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 08:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 510

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 885

You deserved it 24 109

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 431

You deserved it 1 729

By Anonymous - 06/01/2017 23:46

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 249

Shitty

By OnCompanyTimeToo - 02/09/2013 01:21 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 265

You deserved it 9 332

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 23:27 - United States

Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 503

You deserved it 31 800

#LurkerForLife

By Anonymous - 03/08/2017 05:00

Today, I realized that my social life is so dead that the only thing I do that involves other people is read FML. I don't even participate in the comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 781

You deserved it 1 101

Send 'em in anyway

By mega_bite - 25/08/2021 13:31 - India

Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 295

Madison Gliosci 16

Friday 28 December 2018 1:26

Well now you have two things to be proud of

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 18 December 2018 20:27

No shame in that. Which one is it? You didn't add a user name to this one.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 18 December 2018 20:27

No shame in that. Which one is it? You didn't add a user name to this one.

Madison Gliosci 16

Friday 28 December 2018 1:26

Well now you have two things to be proud of

inappropes 31

Friday 28 December 2018 1:59

same here. and they erased a few I had when they updated the site awhile ago as well lol.

Burle 17

Friday 28 December 2018 3:04

Right on, the secret to happiness is lowered expectations

EmDizzle2007 28

Friday 28 December 2018 3:13

-hears the jingle in my head-

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 28 December 2018 3:38

Congrats! You got another one :)

whiskey'swino 15

Friday 28 December 2018 7:34

Take the time, take the risks if it matters so much.

John Croasdell 4

Saturday 29 December 2018 0:19

Are you Richard Pencil?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 702

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

The Top

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 562

You deserved it 38 110

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 547

You deserved it 5 878

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 224

You deserved it 5 060

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 460

You deserved it 7 092

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 210

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 491

You deserved it 2 806