By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 054
You deserved it 4 196

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It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?

Put laxatives in his food.


Put laxatives in his food.

Get a male friend to do the same to him...see how he likes it

And if he does?

Then he's probably gay

Fair enough.

17- Nice read there, Velma.

Am I the only person who thought about ear sex from Family Guy?

That was my first thought, you just beat me to it! Lol

His penis fit in your ear???

That does seem weird. How small is he? How big is your ear?

Hopefully it wasn't wet because he stuck it in his mouth first!

89- there are worse ways he could have dampened his dick. That I am sure of!

Is there some new FML trend with penises being put into people while they're sleeping?

That's what I was thinking, "around in my ear" so its got extra room?

Once you go black, you go deaf

I hope you gave him a knuckle sandwich in return.

How did he get his penis wet? Hmmmm...

Probably just had a piss. Gross.

1, I had to ask, where the hell did the term "knuckle sandwich" come from?

^ that phrase has been around years mate

Since I devoloped a habit born of growing up with idiot brothers, anything wet that comes near my ear I grab and pull. You could try that. Or put a wet dildo in his ear when he's sleeping.

Grabbing and pulling would result in a handjob thus positive reinforcement...

I'd think a wet dildo up his ass when he was sleeping would be more appropriate revenge.

That escalated quickly...

Maybe a grab and twist?

Squirt in his ear.

We with... O.o

"Wet penis..." Didn't know he was that flexible.

When a penis is not erect it is very flexible. You can bend it, wrap it, hell could even twist it.

Forgive me if I wish to keep my penis un-bent, wrapped, or twisted. As for everyone else, sorry about the lame comment. Even ninjas have their moments.

It wasn't a lame comment I think it just went over their head lol

Meh. If he was that flexible he wouldn't have gotten married. Or is It just me? Oh well thumb down

47, as someone said before... sure, for a guy, you think it would be cool to be able to give yourself head...until you realize that you have a dick in your mouth. So you're getting head... while giving it. Can you really feel pleasure with one in your mouth? I'm not a guy, but straight guys usually say, after considering it, that they'd feel weird doing it. Nothing against gay bi or whatever people, just throwing my 2 cents in there.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

You are husband sounds awesome? Seems legit

He sounds like a dick

There's not many things that gets me mad... but for the love of this app, if your grammar sucks... just shut it. Your comment gave me cancer.

Can't tell if 18 used bad grammar on purpose, or if your grammar is just piss poor...

18 Thanks dude, must be prostate cancer because you're an ass hole. Everybody else. My bad, I didn't even notice I used the wrong one until the editing time expired.

18 - your such a mean person. There just trying too have a positive affect! (Die bitch, die! Hahahaha)

You're not even supposed to use the wrong one. "your" and "you're" is third grade grammar. Oh well, i'm not going to sit here complaining about your grammar. I'm bored already, wich is the main reason i came here from the first place

Haters gonna hate :)

34 - Someone who doesn't capitalize "I" or "I'm" and can't spell "which" should not play the role of grammar nazi.

Oh, and you think i'm being serious?:)

Dude, if you weren't being serious, then you wouldn't have gone on and on about it for three comments. Just face the fact that YOU'RE a hipocrit that just got owned. And props to the guy who pointed you out, because I HATE GRAMMAR NATZIS! ;)

Haha, why wouldn't i? i was just bored, so you can say whatever you like. I'm easily amused and i thought it was fun :) Oh you hate me? how cute, i love you too :)

74- maybe his autocorrect got the best of him. Did we ever think of that?

74- It's alright to be wrong and admit it on FML. Just don't be a douche about it and try to hide how much you care by adding a smiley face after every sentence. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes and that's alright. Just say "oops didn't notice" and move on.

74) Look, we don't need pricks and their piss poor grammar to teach us the difference between "you're" and "your". Just correct him and fuck the hell off, we don't need any side commentary.

It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?

"Wiggles his wet penis AROUND MY HEAR" Its around not inside, re-read before assuming things.

It says "around IN my ear"

45 - Take your own advice. Literacy: it's our friend.

Gosh evilplatypus, you are just taking the hipocrits down around here. Way to go! :D And I mean that seriously.

Or she has a really BIG ear...

I am sure she means the outer party of her ear and not the auditory canal. But nevertheless funny comment.

What was it wet from? I think that's a major question that needs to be answered.

I so agree. Why is it wet

Some questions are best unanswered. Yet, I'm still a little curious...

Uhmm maybe wet from cum? If he was erected already? Or maybe something else? Who knows?

68- It was a rhetorical question.

Someone didn't get the memo...

Most likely his own spit, as thats what would differentiate a wet willy from ear sex.

Good ol' spit?

How old is he?? lol

lol is not an age, moron.

I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.

I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.

I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.

As long as his penis wasn't wet from dick cheese.

That's what I was thinking 6! Fyl for real if your man has a penis the size of a toddlers.