By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 116
You deserved it 4 210

Same thing different taste

Top comments

It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?


Get a male friend to do the same to him...see how he likes it

JustDerpin 11
Psych101 9
thelilpeanut 6

Am I the only person who thought about ear sex from Family Guy?

bladedrose 3

That was my first thought, you just beat me to it! Lol

Alwayspullout 7

That does seem weird. How small is he? How big is your ear?

Hopefully it wasn't wet because he stuck it in his mouth first!

89- there are worse ways he could have dampened his dick. That I am sure of!

GuessWhatKids 13

Is there some new FML trend with penises being put into people while they're sleeping?

That's what I was thinking, "around in my ear" so its got extra room?

I hope you gave him a knuckle sandwich in return.

How did he get his penis wet? Hmmmm...

UncleMuscles 5

1, I had to ask, where the hell did the term "knuckle sandwich" come from?

^ that phrase has been around years mate

Oh_So_Klassical 18

Since I devoloped a habit born of growing up with idiot brothers, anything wet that comes near my ear I grab and pull. You could try that. Or put a wet ***** in his ear when he's sleeping.

Grabbing and pulling would result in a handjob thus positive reinforcement...

I'd think a wet ***** up his ass when he was sleeping would be more appropriate revenge.

iOceanus 18
Sinamoi 18

"Wet penis..." Didn't know he was that flexible.

Inheritance 10

When a penis is not erect it is very flexible. You can bend it, wrap it, hell could even twist it.

Sinamoi 18

Forgive me if I wish to keep my penis un-bent, wrapped, or twisted. As for everyone else, sorry about the lame comment. Even ninjas have their moments.

It wasn't a lame comment I think it just went over their head lol

trippythehippy 6

Meh. If he was that flexible he wouldn't have gotten married. Or is It just me? Oh well thumb down

rotflqtms_ 21

47, as someone said before... sure, for a guy, you think it would be cool to be able to give yourself head...until you realize that you have a dick in your mouth. So you're getting head... while giving it. Can you really feel pleasure with one in your mouth? I'm not a guy, but straight guys usually say, after considering it, that they'd feel weird doing it. Nothing against gay bi or whatever people, just throwing my 2 cents in there.

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JustDerpin 11

You are husband sounds awesome? Seems legit

There's not many things that gets me mad... but for the love of this app, if your grammar sucks... just shut it. Your comment gave me cancer.

Can't tell if 18 used bad grammar on purpose, or if your grammar is just piss poor...

18 Thanks dude, must be prostate cancer because you're an ass hole. Everybody else. My bad, I didn't even notice I used the wrong one until the editing time expired.

18 - your such a mean person. There just trying too have a positive affect! (Die bitch, die! Hahahaha)

You're not even supposed to use the wrong one. "your" and "you're" is third grade grammar. Oh well, i'm not going to sit here complaining about your grammar. I'm bored already, wich is the main reason i came here from the first place

34 - Someone who doesn't capitalize "I" or "I'm" and can't spell "which" should not play the role of grammar nazi.

Oh, and you think i'm being serious?:)

Dude, if you weren't being serious, then you wouldn't have gone on and on about it for three comments. Just face the fact that YOU'RE a hipocrit that just got owned. And props to the guy who pointed you out, because I HATE GRAMMAR NATZIS! ;)

Haha, why wouldn't i? i was just bored, so you can say whatever you like. I'm easily amused and i thought it was fun :) Oh you hate me? how cute, i love you too :)

74- maybe his autocorrect got the best of him. Did we ever think of that?

74- It's alright to be wrong and admit it on FML. Just don't be a douche about it and try to hide how much you care by adding a smiley face after every sentence. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes and that's alright. Just say "oops didn't notice" and move on.

74) Look, we don't need pricks and their piss poor grammar to teach us the difference between "you're" and "your". Just correct him and **** the hell off, we don't need any side commentary.

It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?

"Wiggles his wet penis AROUND MY HEAR" Its around not inside, re-read before assuming things.

45 - Take your own advice. Literacy: it's our friend.

Gosh evilplatypus, you are just taking the hipocrits down around here. Way to go! :D And I mean that seriously.

R4inb0wBrit3 13

Or she has a really BIG ear...

I am sure she means the outer party of her ear and not the auditory canal. But nevertheless funny comment.

What was it wet from? I think that's a major question that needs to be answered.

Some questions are best unanswered. Yet, I'm still a little curious...

krysstar 5

Uhmm maybe wet from cum? If he was erected already? Or maybe something else? Who knows?

wannabemom 5

68- It was a rhetorical question.

Most likely his own spit, as thats what would differentiate a wet willy from ear sex.

I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.

I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.

I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.

goldensh0wer69 3

As long as his penis wasn't wet from dick cheese.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

That's what I was thinking 6! Fyl for real if your man has a penis the size of a toddlers.