Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
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By
laurensauren
| 9
It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?
By
MelissaRoo2
| 6
Put laxatives in his food.
COMMENTS
By
MelissaRoo2
| 6
Put laxatives in his food.
Reply
sarahbear499
| 7
Get a male friend to do the same to him...see how he likes it
Reply
Sinamoi
| 18
And if he does?
Reply
JustDerpin
| 11
Then he's probably gay
Reply
Sinamoi
| 18
Fair enough.
Reply
Psych101
| 9
17- Nice read there, Velma.
Reply
thelilpeanut
| 6
Am I the only person who thought about ear sex from Family Guy?
Reply
bladedrose
| 3
That was my first thought, you just beat me to it! Lol
Reply
Alwayspullout
| 7
His penis fit in your ear???
Reply
emag_eht
| 18
That does seem weird. How small is he? How big is your ear?
Reply
lessthan0_fml
| 5
Hopefully it wasn't wet because he stuck it in his mouth first!
Reply
Xcherrypie
| 16
89- there are worse ways he could have dampened his dick. That I am sure of!
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GuessWhatKids
| 13
Is there some new FML trend with penises being put into people while they're sleeping?
Reply
ChaaManDoo
| 0
That's what I was thinking, "around in my ear" so its got extra room?
Reply
DoomSkuller
| 28
Once you go black, you go deaf
By
gracehi
| 31
I hope you gave him a knuckle sandwich in return.
Reply
Jjgibbs
| 5
How did he get his penis wet? Hmmmm...
Reply
stfuNOWplease
| 6
Spit?
Reply
lololol693
| 3
Ha lol.
Reply
zandalee
| 19
Probably just had a piss. Gross.
Reply
UncleMuscles
| 5
1, I had to ask, where the hell did the term "knuckle sandwich" come from?
Reply
therealslim
| 15
^ that phrase has been around years mate
By
Oh_So_Klassical
| 18
Since I devoloped a habit born of growing up with idiot brothers, anything wet that comes near my ear I grab and pull. You could try that. Or put a wet dildo in his ear when he's sleeping.
Reply
hatesfate
| 6
Grabbing and pulling would result in a handjob thus positive reinforcement...
Reply
alycion
| 38
I'd think a wet dildo up his ass when he was sleeping would be more appropriate revenge.
Reply
SaltukBugraHan
| 8
That escalated quickly...
Reply
usarmywife
| 19
Maybe a grab and twist?
Reply
iOceanus
| 18
Squirt in his ear.
Reply
JOEBOBARNOLD
| 15
We with... O.o
Reply
JOEBOBARNOLD
| 15
*wet
By
Sinamoi
| 18
"Wet penis..."
Didn't know he was that flexible.
Didn't know he was that flexible.
Reply
Inheritance
| 10
When a penis is not erect it is very flexible. You can bend it, wrap it, hell could even twist it.
Reply
Sinamoi
| 18
Forgive me if I wish to keep my penis un-bent, wrapped, or twisted. As for everyone else, sorry about the lame comment. Even ninjas have their moments.
Reply
saizml
| 9
It wasn't a lame comment I think it just went over their head lol
Reply
trippythehippy
| 6
Meh. If he was that flexible he wouldn't have gotten married. Or is It just me? Oh well thumb down
Reply
rotflqtms_
| 18
47, as someone said before... sure, for a guy, you think it would be cool to be able to give yourself head...until you realize that you have a dick in your mouth. So you're getting head... while giving it. Can you really feel pleasure with one in your mouth?
I'm not a guy, but straight guys usually say, after considering it, that they'd feel weird doing it. Nothing against gay bi or whatever people, just throwing my 2 cents in there.
I'm not a guy, but straight guys usually say, after considering it, that they'd feel weird doing it. Nothing against gay bi or whatever people, just throwing my 2 cents in there.
By
DespairFaction
| 11
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
JustDerpin
| 11
You are husband sounds awesome? Seems legit
Reply
Hockeyboy4280
| 18
He sounds like a dick
Reply
kAPISH
| 29
There's not many things that gets me mad... but for the love of this app, if your grammar sucks... just shut it.
Your comment gave me cancer.
Your comment gave me cancer.
Reply
Hockeyboy4280
| 18
Can't tell if 18 used bad grammar on purpose, or if your grammar is just piss poor...
Reply
DespairFaction
| 11
18 Thanks dude, must be prostate cancer because you're an ass hole.
Everybody else. My bad, I didn't even notice I used the wrong one until the editing time expired.
Everybody else. My bad, I didn't even notice I used the wrong one until the editing time expired.
Reply
hatesfate
| 6
18 - your such a mean person. There just trying too have a positive affect!
(Die bitch, die! Hahahaha)
(Die bitch, die! Hahahaha)
Reply
kAPISH
| 29
You're not even supposed to use the wrong one. "your" and "you're" is third grade grammar.
Oh well, i'm not going to sit here complaining about your grammar. I'm bored already, wich is the main reason i came here from the first place
Oh well, i'm not going to sit here complaining about your grammar. I'm bored already, wich is the main reason i came here from the first place
Reply
hatesfate
| 6
^fail
Reply
kAPISH
| 29
Haters gonna hate :)
Reply
evilplatypus
| 38
34 - Someone who doesn't capitalize "I" or "I'm" and can't spell "which" should not play the role of grammar nazi.
Reply
kAPISH
| 29
Oh, and you think i'm being serious?:)
Reply
angeluv_2014
| 22
Dude, if you weren't being serious, then you wouldn't have gone on and on about it for three comments. Just face the fact that YOU'RE a hipocrit that just got owned. And props to the guy who pointed you out, because I HATE GRAMMAR NATZIS! ;)
Reply
kAPISH
| 29
Haha, why wouldn't i? i was just bored, so you can say whatever you like. I'm easily amused and i thought it was fun :) Oh you hate me? how cute, i love you too :)
Reply
Hockeyboy4280
| 18
74- maybe his autocorrect got the best of him. Did we ever think of that?
Reply
emag_eht
| 18
74- It's alright to be wrong and admit it on FML. Just don't be a douche about it and try to hide how much you care by adding a smiley face after every sentence. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes and that's alright. Just say "oops didn't notice" and move on.
Reply
FMLKitten
| 15
74) Look, we don't need pricks and their piss poor grammar to teach us the difference between "you're" and "your". Just correct him and fuck the hell off, we don't need any side commentary.
By
laurensauren
| 9
It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?
Reply
MissRoxiie
| 12
"Wiggles his wet penis AROUND MY HEAR"
Its around not inside, re-read before assuming things.
Its around not inside, re-read before assuming things.
Reply
ShyAnn29
| 14
It says "around IN my ear"
Reply
evilplatypus
| 38
45 - Take your own advice.
Literacy: it's our friend.
Literacy: it's our friend.
Reply
angeluv_2014
| 22
Gosh evilplatypus, you are just taking the hipocrits down around here. Way to go! :D And I mean that seriously.
Reply
R4inb0wBrit3
| 13
Or she has a really BIG ear...
Reply
Zoomali
| 1
I am sure she means the outer party of her ear and not the auditory canal. But nevertheless funny comment.
By
Welshite
| 39
What was it wet from? I think that's a major question that needs to be answered.
Reply
twinkiefeets
| 17
I so agree. Why is it wet
Reply
Carmstro
| 13
Some questions are best unanswered. Yet, I'm still a little curious...
Reply
krysstar
| 5
Uhmm maybe wet from cum? If he was erected already? Or maybe something else? Who knows?
Reply
wannabemom
| 5
68-
It was a rhetorical question.
It was a rhetorical question.
Reply
calipilot227
| 16
Someone didn't get the memo...
Reply
LoveGuru69
| 0
Most likely his own spit, as thats what would differentiate a wet willy from ear sex.
Reply
NyQuilSausages
| 7
Good ol' spit?
By
omgalice
| 5
How old is he?? lol
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
lol is not an age, moron.
Reply
omgalice
| 5
I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.
Reply
omgalice
| 5
I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.
Reply
omgalice
| 5
I was actually saying it somewhat sarcastically, as in 'well isn't he mature', but obviously you can't see that.
By
goldensh0wer69
| 3
As long as his penis wasn't wet from dick cheese.
By
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
That's what I was thinking 6! Fyl for real if your man has a penis the size of a toddlers.