Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father... - FML

By Sad nerd - 5/1/2013 17:09 - United Kingdom - Ringwood

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27146

You deserved it

1851

Tweet

Share

My body, my choice

That'll be Kevin in accounting

Bad news

By pool party - 29/5/2013 00:48 - United States - Rockford

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33241

You deserved it

58888

Tweet

Share

By jjhach - 12/9/2014 22:27 - Canada - Aldouane

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38049

You deserved it

3527

Tweet

Share

By DyingOfShame - 24/8/2010 23:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

I agree, your life sucks

36994

You deserved it

8401

Tweet

Share

By LJ - 13/3/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

95140

You deserved it

4200

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/3/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46266

You deserved it

14259

Tweet

Share

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/8/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11325

You deserved it

3975

Tweet

Share

By Pimp Daddy - 30/4/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5437

You deserved it

517

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/6/2013 07:18 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50372

You deserved it

4154

Tweet

Share

By car_FAILure - 23/2/2010 05:17 - New Zealand

Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19543

You deserved it

6888

Tweet

Share

By calvinjakobs - 9/11/2019 03:00

Same name but distant

Today, I met the most compatible and perfect girl for me. After days of talking and finally setting up a date. We found out that we both live in different continents, just our city name has been the same. I was waiting at the restaurant for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2504

You deserved it

502

Tweet

Share

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27279

You deserved it

10013

Tweet

Share

By floggingnasty - 13/2/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36723

You deserved it

2814

Tweet

Share

By bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh - 21/6/2013 21:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75776

You deserved it

7181

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/3/2016 11:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21004

You deserved it

1844

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/3/2016 13:21 - Netherlands - Ottersum

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19793

You deserved it

1380

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/8/2020 14:01

Walking Dead

Today, my doctor informed me I was a fascinating patient. Why? I have "more health issues than a patient my age should." I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1397

You deserved it

116

Tweet

Share

By chris - 5/5/2020 14:00

Frustration level 100

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1497

You deserved it

184

Tweet

Share

By badmom - 25/2/2012 11:25 - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37992

You deserved it

8627

Tweet

Share

By Fried. - 14/5/2019 16:00

Oh nose!

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1848

You deserved it

109

Tweet

Share

By aherdofpigs - 2/9/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49995

You deserved it

21019

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/5/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27373

You deserved it

3362

Tweet

Share

By everyonesdivorced - 2/10/2009 16:47 - Iraq

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47466

You deserved it

3158

Tweet

Share

By Alright. - 24/9/2012 08:15 - United States - Missoula

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30014

You deserved it

2063

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29859

You deserved it

9353

Tweet

Share

By Allycat - 9/10/2013 01:19 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47031

You deserved it

5083

Tweet

Share

By ouchers - 11/6/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38225

You deserved it

338151

Tweet

Share

By probablydeadbymidnight - 1/7/2012 22:57 - United States

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23205

You deserved it

7746

Tweet

Share

By Paramedic - 17/11/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41938

You deserved it

4432

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 02:00

Deal or no Deal

Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

910

You deserved it

1784

Tweet

Share

By exiledliscense - 9/11/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39994

You deserved it

5859

Tweet

Share

By ugh - 24/11/2014 12:40 - United States - Port Chester

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35076

You deserved it

4399

Tweet

Share

By birthdaygirl - 11/3/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60003

You deserved it

15099

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 06:34 - Netherlands

Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML

I agree, your life sucks

25974

You deserved it

5959

Tweet

Share

By AlwaysAfraid - 23/10/2015 22:33 - United States

Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25688

You deserved it

2490

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/7/2015 19:20 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

24180

You deserved it

6928

Tweet

Share

By padre74 - 3/10/2016 17:31 - United States - Jackson

Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

11252

You deserved it

2364

Tweet

Share

By billjoebob424 - 10/3/2016 00:01 - Canada

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20320

You deserved it

7409

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 23/2/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23135

You deserved it

57086

Tweet

Share

By dogless - 15/10/2019 06:00

Creepy

Today, at my surprise birthday party, my neighbor gave me a new dog collar. My dog was run over by him a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1976

You deserved it

94

Tweet

Share

By N - 20/5/2016 20:22 - United States - Glenwood Springs

Today, I paid 60 dollars for my senior yearbook. They forgot to put me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14465

You deserved it

1094

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By shjenn | 7

#5310605 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:09

What a great way to ruin a moment... I'd flip

By shaebayla | 6

#5310610 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:13

Congratulations OP. Hang in there, and don't let their problems over shadow your success!

COMMENTS

By shjenn | 7

#5310605 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:09

What a great way to ruin a moment... I'd flip

Reply

gc327072 | 29

#5310679 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:38

Noor-

Because nothing says "fuck you, dad!" like impromptu somersaults!

Reply

EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8

#5310737 - Sunday 6 January 2013 3:19

Op said 'mum'. must be British :P

Reply

nanxi | 30

#5310788 - Sunday 6 January 2013 4:00

Oh phew, thanks for pointing that out, #36! I wasn't sure, after reading where the FML entry came from and all, so you sure cleared that up for me!

Reply

EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8

#5313761 - Tuesday 8 January 2013 4:11

^ Oh I didn't realize there was that feature. My deepest apologies. I was right either way though.. :)

Reply

WoWurCooL127 | 5

#5315971 - Wednesday 9 January 2013 11:05

Sounds more like time to go to court most states require tuition of children whose parents are divorced to split it in 3

Reply

londoner86 | 13

#6123144 - Wednesday 19 November 2014 22:55

ruin a moment? Is OP seriously more upset about having her "moment" ruined than about her parents' divorce?? Priorities way out here.

By shaebayla | 6

#5310610 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:13

Congratulations OP. Hang in there, and don't let their problems over shadow your success!

Reply

MrsPegg | 45

#5310670 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:35

Exactly! That's an absolutely amazing feat!!!! Be proud OP. I'm happy for you!

Reply

Catkam623 | 27

#5311864 - Sunday 6 January 2013 22:30

Your going to your dream college and who knows witho

Reply

Catkam623 | 27

#5311865 - Sunday 6 January 2013 22:32

*with time everything could work out.

Sorry for commenting twice I accidentally hit validate early.

Reply

stevenJB | 25

#5388787 - Friday 1 March 2013 21:35

Yay for more college money since they aren't together!

By TurkeySlab | 9

#5310612 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:14

Ouch. Well theres always the bitter sweet just look for the good.

By rivaraven | 35

#5310624 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:17

I really hope this won't affect if you can go there or not..

Reply

minzzy | 8

#5310668 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:33

I don't know why you're getting thumbed down, but I agree with you. The divorce shouldn't affect if OP goes or not.

Reply

happle | 21

#5311023 - Sunday 6 January 2013 7:46

Hopefully not, but OP's parents may not be financially stable after the divorce.

Reply

bReLiNg | 18

#5311329 - Sunday 6 January 2013 15:18

OP can qualify for aid. I'm going through the same thing.

By gracehi | 31

#5310625 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:17

Life's a bitch, and, apparently, so is your dad.

Reply

BlowinChronic | 18

#5310717 - Sunday 6 January 2013 3:02

Maybe OP's mom is too, her dad has to have some reason for divorcing her.

Reply

happle | 21

#5311027 - Sunday 6 January 2013 7:49

I think OP's dad is a bitch for breaking such terrible news right after she told him something good.

By Cowgirl9999 | 8

#5310626 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:17

Aw I'm sorry, Op :( congrats though!!

By lilhellian | 26

#5310627 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:18

Well damn you get accepted he divorces your mom.. I'm curious as to what he would have done if you had been denied...

By Smashhoof | 15

#5310628 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:18

This is the second FML today to end in moment ruined. I wonder if there's a connection...

Reply

laya_fml | 26

#5310635 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:20

Someone must be running around ruining moments.

Reply

heliraptor | 13

#5310647 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:25

OP's dad must be a busy man, if he already has another girlfriend. Too bad she doesn't like the planes.

Reply

Proughboy | 7

#5310866 - Sunday 6 January 2013 5:16

I was looking around for a comment that said this! Haha that's awesome

By gilliaga73 | 18

#5310629 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:19

Congratulations OP, that's amazing for you! Let's celebrate your success and forget everything else for a while.

Reply

BlowinChronic | 18

#5310707 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:57

Yeah, I'll bring the punch!

By sesamestreetgirl | 5

#5310630 - Sunday 6 January 2013 2:19

Congratulations OP! Sorry about that but at least you have the happy news to get through it!