Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where...

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 107

You deserved it 7 145

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Same thing different taste

Set the scene

By Fire0fisis - 23/05/2012 09:38 - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 925

You deserved it 11 140

By DDD - 31/01/2009 15:04 - France

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his Facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies, asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 392

You deserved it 66 780

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 156

You deserved it 6 018

By threw my underwear out too - 03/12/2017 00:00 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, my girlfriend and I took a walk on the beach at night. We were completely alone, so she started blowing me. It was great for the first five minutes, but she had just eaten dinner and (apparently) wasn't feeling great. I ended the night in the shower picking vomit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 896

You deserved it 1 903

He had to find out eventually!

By Telley21 - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 210

You deserved it 525

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

By Matt - 29/08/2010 04:53 - Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 794

You deserved it 5 040

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 555

You deserved it 4 643

Downhill from here

By forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 746

You deserved it 9 859

By pinchy - 07/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 983

You deserved it 4 644

Tommy_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:31

That's one nasty way to get crabs.

thewelshmetal 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:44

maybe he likes fish sauce with his meat.

Comments

thewelshmetal 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:44

maybe he likes fish sauce with his meat.

silentfirefly 0

Monday 2 March 2009 7:20

@8 I applaud you

oyster42 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 3:57

#3, the problem is that salt causes a woman's private area to itch and burn horribly ... pretty much the same thing happened to me once, only it involved hot sauce from Hooters wings....

pdoom 0

Monday 16 March 2009 0:48

I know some other people have said it, but yeah be glad it wasn't hot sauce. That stuff even burns on guy's junk too.

podrummer9209 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:38

Ugh, that would suck... I don't envy you.

Laughing_is_cool 4

Saturday 21 March 2009 4:55

gross haha

sarahhha 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 0:34

BURNNNN

Tommy_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:31

That's one nasty way to get crabs.

FMLFML123123 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 15:31

hahaha wiiiin!

bugmenotmofo 34

Friday 11 June 2010 3:11

no loss

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:52

How do you even get hot sauce on your crotch other than someone absentmindedly touching you after handling it? But yeah... I would have told him... No. That's kind of gross.