Animals: Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 04:03 - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 283

You deserved it 5 046

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By Wendie - 18/04/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 551

You deserved it 8 590

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 287

You deserved it 7 776

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 875

You deserved it 2 680

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 781

You deserved it 11 017

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 5 396

By JohnMackSquirts - 19/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 115 412

I didn't see you there

By SolaceInRage - 20/03/2013 23:53 - United States - Wilmette

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 26 926

Next

Top comments

Kamon97 23

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:56

Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:06

like you've never ran into a glass door

Comments

Kamon97 23

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:56

Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.

Zomg_Okay 26

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:05

Could be a variety of reasons. Guard dog in a bad area, one of those dogs that watches for seizures, seeing eye dog, etc.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:24

It was a seeing eye dog. The mods edited it, I remember voting on this one

mcrepas 19

Sunday 20 April 2014 16:56

Reference #16's comment further down the page. It originally said seeing eye dog.

_iquitlife_ 10

Sunday 20 April 2014 18:09

or it could work with op as a police dog vbn

crimsin_ 21

Sunday 20 April 2014 20:30

Some people have such severe allergies that they need a dog nearby to alert them if the substance that they are allergic to is near. This is probably more likely than a seeing eye dog

tigerisabelle 31

Sunday 20 April 2014 23:19

Maybe this particular dog is a seeing-eye dog, but there are tons of reasons why dogs can be support animals: some watch for seizure activity (epilepsy) , allergies, for people with diabetes there are dogs that detect low blood sugar, autism, mental issues, hearing -- they can be EXTREMELY important and crucial to peoples survival.

mcholl 7

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:56

Is this a seeing eye dog?

abcdog123 16

Sunday 20 April 2014 18:25

I think hes more of a sneezing eye dog :p

PenguinBitch 43

Sunday 20 April 2014 20:07

No THIS IS PATRICK

WoodChupper 9

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:56

That funny as hell xD

SgtAssCheeks 21

Sunday 20 April 2014 18:12

In b4 animal cruelty/rights activists comments

ohcheriecherie 20

Sunday 20 April 2014 18:40

it's not animal cruelty when a dog sneezes

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 21 April 2014 0:28

Ah yes, 38. I can't count how many times I've been called a monster for allowing my dog to sneeze.

Stephy94 9

Monday 21 April 2014 1:08

Are you joking? I got ran out of my town with the pitchforks and torches all because my dog sneezed. Can't step back into that town without my head being mounted on a pike. Consider yourself lucky.

KissMyButtocks 6

Monday 21 April 2014 1:28

83 you're trying to hard

warsun 27

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:58

This is.......difficult to picture in my mind

KingSplatter 9

Sunday 20 April 2014 18:51

clearly you never had a dog

Kovu_fml 16

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:03

My dog has done crap like that before.

onlychildFTW 33

Sunday 20 April 2014 21:19

Oh okay. Your point?

classiceagle63 16

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:04

Maybe you should but carpet down and give it a helmet.. Just an idea

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:06

like you've never ran into a glass door

classiceagle63 16

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:07

Watch the FML person be blind and have a seeing eye dog. Aha

mcrepas 19

Sunday 20 April 2014 16:54

Dog goes through a doggy door leading blind person straight into door.

Exhaling 12

Monday 21 April 2014 1:48

How would they post this on FML if they were blind?

Not_Impressed13 9

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:07

Make him wear the Cone of Shame!

RedDevel96 5

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:07

God bless your dog lol

omnia 5

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:10

Police dog?

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

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I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 112

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I agree, your life sucks 24 750

You deserved it 3 512

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I agree, your life sucks 46 254

You deserved it 3 783

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I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 169

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I agree, your life sucks 48 879

You deserved it 3 426

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I agree, your life sucks 30 550

You deserved it 8 591