Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
like you've never ran into a glass door
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Comments (93)
tricklingrain 13
Your dog is so cute and funny! Forgive him if this is his first time. We, humans, are clumsy/silly sometimes too. :)
conman531 23
It could be anything from a seeing eye dog or like a special needs dog. Someone with a seizure problem may rely on a helping dog. MS patients rely on dogs, too. They can be trained to call for help, push the handicap door button, and of course they make great friends when you need them the most
omnia 5
This FML needs a follow-up. Is the dog medical assistance, bomb/drug sniffing or police assistance or something else altogether? Inquiring minds, you know?
cakefete2 31
Oh my, could you imagine a sneezing bomb dog? lmao
Scarroll95 11
It says it's a guide dog. They're for blind people
gingaa96 18
If it's a guide dog, it makes OP blind.. How in the actual **** did OP post this??
glabberfasted 16
I voted on this one, it originally said seeing eye dog. Just to clear up any confusion. Don't know why it was taken out...
conman531 23
How visually impaired can OP be if he could remember such vivid detail like the dog slamming his head against the floor and being knocked out? Maybe OP has a visual impairment but not exactly blind
klorehore 24
Other people could've been there to witness it
TunaFireStarter 16
Or you know, maybe OP could hear the sneeze, a loud bang, suddenly the dog was out cold, and then put all the pieces together.
rocker_chick105 31
34- you don't know the definition of legally blind then.
Omniprism 15
Awww poor thing. Hope it was ok. Animals are funny sometimes just like humans. I've seen my dogs smack their faces on a door or doorway because they were looking behind them while walking. They only do that though in a comfortable environment where they don't have to be on guard. I'm sure you'll be just fine when and if he's needed.
Lang88 13
It would be even funnier if it was a police dog.
jakeysmom 12
Poor thing. I do have a question though... Why did you say "it" instead of she or he?
sarneeley 14
Good point.
cometkeeper00 3
Because op doesn't have to personify if it doesn't want to.
cometkeeper00 3
Or maybe, op is doesn't know what gender the dog wants to be, and the op doesn't want to assign the dog's gender in worry of offending the dog's personal life choices. come on, think...
JuzReading 23
Well sneezing is an involuntary action (especially since a dog can't consciously control it) so I doubt thats a reason to question your dog's ability to look after you.
BlackBirdsSong 10
Get padding instead of carpet. I feel there will be more silly things to come
JazNim17 18
How old is the dog? If he's fairly young, you'll be all right. My dog has managed to slam his head into a fence while chasing a rabbit twice, but he has also saved my life once. He just went through a clumsy stage. Maybe your dog has to go through one.