Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
like you've never ran into a glass door
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Comments (93)
skipper2009 18
If you need an animal to protect you your ass deserves to be beaten.
sammyjo06 14
Why would you say that? What if OP needs the dog because he has a disability? Blind and deaf people regularly entrust their lives to their dogs.
UsagiArwen 23
There could be any number of reasons this person has to trust on the dog. Some dogs are trained specifically to detect anomalies in a person's body, so if Op has any kind of life threatening condition, not just blindness or deafness, then this dog could be the difference between life and death. Some dogs, for example, detect high blood sugar, or differences in peoples' temperatures, or when they're about to have seizures. You, #70, have absolutely no clue what Op meant, so your post is nothing more than the comment of someone who is completely ignorant. And even if this person does rely on a dog to be a guard dog, there could be a list of reasons why Op could *need* to rely on a dog for such purposes. Either way, you're an ass.
UsagiArwen 23
Oh, and for the record, #70, as I have now scrolled through the comments, other's posted that this FML originally said that it was a seeing-eye dog and that it was modded out. But my point remains valid. Dogs are trained for so many different life saving purposes, and you really are quite ignorant for your comment.
jackolearys 5
Where it says anonymous it originally said seeing eyedog
Xotoolyxo 16
That's adorable, you probably should see if your dog is okay though
Guardian88 21
Thats awesome!
yoyoyowhatup 11
You're really an ass because instead of making sure your dog is okay, you complain that you have to trust it with your life. Why would you ever have to trust a dog with you life?
AutumnTurtleneck 7
I find this hilarious, but I'm confused on how this person posted this...
never_three 21
well there is more than just one type of guide dog...
platinumbarbiexo 6
Haha! Awe puppy
chrichards 2
I hope it's ok. I can't imagine a worse headache.
slothinout 7
May seem cruel but if your blind how can you type this fml? Wondering...
sthin 10
If you have a guide dog, doesnt that mean you're blind? In that case, how could you be writing this?