Animals: Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head...

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 04:03 - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 278

You deserved it 5 043

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 518

You deserved it 3 236

By Wendie - 18/04/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 8 583

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 7 775

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 3 363

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 386

You deserved it 4 658

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 868

You deserved it 2 677

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 760

You deserved it 10 999

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 590

You deserved it 5 391

By JohnMackSquirts - 19/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 971

You deserved it 115 392

I didn't see you there

By SolaceInRage - 20/03/2013 23:53 - United States - Wilmette

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 140

You deserved it 26 913

Kamon97 23

Sunday 20 April 2014 14:56

Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 20 April 2014 15:06

like you've never ran into a glass door

Comments

nathansch 11

Sunday 20 April 2014 19:20

Is the dog okay? Hopefully he doesn't do that anymore! At least he didn't have a sneezing fit where he banged his head on the ground multiple times repeatedly!

mybubbles2000 13

Sunday 20 April 2014 19:47

True. Then you would be worried about a massive Vet bill.

RANDALL4801 11

Sunday 20 April 2014 19:46

i've heard of this one dog who had a helmet made for it because it sleep walked and ran into a wall giving itself a concussion once.

coppersmith 13

Sunday 20 April 2014 19:47

Give away the dog to the person who punched herself in the nose with an apple two days back. I think they are made for each other.

gaydragon 13

Sunday 20 April 2014 20:21

Isn't that the one where the female punched herself in the nose because she couldn't stop sneezing? Don't remember seeing an fml involving an apple

KissMyAnthia200 12

Sunday 20 April 2014 19:47

I doubt it's a seeing eye dog since this guy just typed up this FML.It could be a special needs dog,however.But definetly not an seeing eye dog.

glabberfasted 16

Monday 21 April 2014 0:36

It was a seeing eye dog. Someone probably typed up the FML for them. The original FML stated seeing eye dog, and the mods took it out.

TrinityNevada 11

Sunday 20 April 2014 20:01

I looked out the window once to watch my dad's dog throw something up int he air and catch it in his mouth. It took me a minute to realize it was a rock. Unfortunately, I realized that right as it conked him on the head and knocked him out cold. It was an interesting 911 call.