Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
like you've never ran into a glass door
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Comments (93)
nathansch 11
Is the dog okay? Hopefully he doesn't do that anymore! At least he didn't have a sneezing fit where he banged his head on the ground multiple times repeatedly!
mybubbles2000 13
True. Then you would be worried about a massive Vet bill.
RANDALL4801 11
i've heard of this one dog who had a helmet made for it because it sleep walked and ran into a wall giving itself a concussion once.
coppersmith 13
Give away the dog to the person who punched herself in the nose with an apple two days back. I think they are made for each other.
gaydragon 13
Isn't that the one where the female punched herself in the nose because she couldn't stop sneezing? Don't remember seeing an fml involving an apple
KissMyAnthia200 12
I doubt it's a seeing eye dog since this guy just typed up this FML.It could be a special needs dog,however.But definetly not an seeing eye dog.
glabberfasted 16
It was a seeing eye dog. Someone probably typed up the FML for them. The original FML stated seeing eye dog, and the mods took it out.
TrinityNevada 11
I looked out the window once to watch my dad's dog throw something up int he air and catch it in his mouth. It took me a minute to realize it was a rock. Unfortunately, I realized that right as it conked him on the head and knocked him out cold. It was an interesting 911 call.
mybubbles2000 13
That sounds just like something my Beagle would do to herself.
Federgirl 19
omg your poor doggie!!!
PainOfDemise 11
I have to admit, I had a good laugh after reading that, but why does your life depend on the dog?
ilovetraveler 17
poor baby and I'm referring to the dog
EmeraldMoonshine 21
awhh :( poor dog, you should put a helmet on em so it doesnt knock himself out again.(:
worldclassrager 41
Hope your dog is alright