Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
**** hashtags. I'd rather have hashbrowns.
Ambient25 25
Slap the hashtag off her...
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Comments (173)
ilovemsminaj 13
Am I the only one tired of white girl jokes
megcarpy 19
Hahahahaha
Nish007 15
this is like that "YOLO" crap
xbox2king 6
I don't know what's worse, that stupid yolo and swag shit, or this. I weep for this generation, I really do
orsombre_fml 11
Let her know her meals are now hashtagged too. #onlydinneryouget
dvl2035 10
Some people will understand this reference. But you should hashtag your foot in her ass!
howdoilogin 9
That awkward moment when you realize you failed as a parent.
XxCrystalBladexX 7
In reply, say "No more Starbucks- Hashtag grounded."
liaRawr 9
Start a penny pot every time she says something like this she has to put money in the pot you can save it for her future or spend it yourself and show her what your spent with it
permaband_usr 14
Yeah, it is a bit idiotic when people spell out Eff Why Eye and El Oh El. Even worse when they get it wrong, like shouting out "I'm Ay Eff Kay" when they are in the bathroom and can't come to the phone.