Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grauncho 27
**** hashtags. I'd rather have hashbrowns.
Ambient25 25
Slap the hashtag off her...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
worldclassrager 41
Twitter destroying conversations one person at a time...
SouthernLady12 13
Get your wife on board and when your daughter says it look at your wife and say oh yea hashtag bedroom time.... both walk away very calm and stay in their room. She will not want to hashtag again. and if she does repeat process.
taylor21398 14
The people who have the biggest problems with our generation are the ones who raised us.
murdersquirrel 15
that's so not true at all. I didn't raise a damn one of these hashtag/twitter/instagram idiots.
franklydizzy 5
smack her in the face. #solution
drewk877 5
#slapthathoe
lemurman108 24
#wow
grgnyce 8
Why is it all of a sudden called a hashtag instead of a pound sign?
DizzyTizzyy27 5
£ - this is a pound sign. Moron.
VeeFML 10
The '#' is called the pound symbol in some parts of the world. In others, it is called the hash symbol. '£' refers to the currency of the pound. No need to call people names.
Calingaladha 21
I have a friend who teaches middle school band. Recently said a student asked him what a hashtag above a note meant.
clrichmond2009 24
um, why don't you check the location. in America, we don't use the pound as money, so we do not use your pound symbol. this (#) means pound here. Moron.
weveallbeenthere 30
kick the hash tag out of her ass
Lastwhiteknight 11
Just ask her ' where's the beef?'.
Muttley9 13
Seemingly every generation has a new way of expressing itself... one day those too will be quaintly old fashioned as "beatnik" or "groovy!" or "far out man!"