Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
**** hashtags. I'd rather have hashbrowns.
Ambient25 25
Slap the hashtag off her...
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Comments (173)
bhou56 7
Take away all her electronics.
driinkbleach 18
62 yes that is technically a pound sign if you're referring to currency but # has always been the "pound sign" in America until this stupid hashtag thing. As in, Operator: "if this is correct, please press the pound sign" No need to be rude.
ksks1234 33
Did you know you can reply to people directly under their comment?
driinkbleach 18
Also this is ridiculously stupid and annoying but Im sure in a few years it will be one of those things she will laugh about and say "oh my god, remember when I used to actually say hashtag in conversations? How embarrassing haha."
NavitasNexus 3
You raised a moron! Congratulations.
AyeJay101 25
Tell her she adds a pound for every hashtag. :p
notsofriendly 17
New hashtag poster on her room door every morning. #idisabled the modem
jdwmoore 5
kids these days. please smack the hashtags out of her.
Xotoolyxo 16
Maybe she needs to spend some time outside....away from her phone and laptop
sickerthanyou 13
record her while talking like a dumb ass and post it on Facebook and twitter, fight fire with fire!
Dynosaur_dollie 38
People who comment they lost their faith in humanity, or something along those lines here confuse me. Are you really expecting some really amazing faith restoring post? If so I think you may be on the wrong site. Of course you'll find the posts about the incredibly stupid people of society on a site literately called f my life. There are smart and stupid people in every generation and every country, stupid ones just make funnier stories.