Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
**** hashtags. I'd rather have hashbrowns.
Ambient25 25
Slap the hashtag off her...
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Comments (173)
ElectroThunder28 16
Octothorpe people should stop using hashtags
TheCrispyCat 20
#hashtaghastaggroundedhashtag
Emmaluv27 11
I'm only a teen, but this is the problem with society. :/
murdersquirrel 15
no it's not. this is not the singular problem with society. nope.
squideth 18
Oh yeah, this is what's wrong with society! Totally! Not the racism and sexism and bigotry and violence and whatnot! Nope, this random teen going through a stupid phase is what's wrong with society.
Alexeon 9
I would probably have to ship her to a boarding school or disown her
mustang19898 16
Try ignoring her when he tries talking to you. When she gets all upset and asks what's going on, tell her you only talk to people who talk right lol.
randome101 12
Plz tell me she's not below high school age, i feel bad for you if she's younger than that
AshleyScruggs 14
Don't you think it would worse if she was in highschool and speaking like an idiot?
Darkblade21 20
I hate your child.
SmokinGuns 13
Its still the pound or number sign to me.
AshleyScruggs 14
#dumbdaughterprobs
crazypplun1te 4
Woah, when iIfirst looked at this post, the first use of "hashtag" was misspelled as "hastag." I guess the FML team can interfere and correct posts!