Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grauncho 27
**** hashtags. I'd rather have hashbrowns.
Ambient25 25
Slap the hashtag off her...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
Heathtastic 10
I'd respond hashtag you're grounded hashtag no more internet for you hashtag burn hashtag now you have a problem
MaryPoppins88 14
Omg what has this world come to I will never understand hashtags lol
AshleyScruggs 14
Hashtags are for tagging certain topics so you can search for tags on social media sites to find other posts that interest you. There's nothing wrong with using hashtags, but speaking in hashtags is absolutely ridiculous.
legs666 10
only a loser starts a sentence with hashtag. maybe you should tell your daughter to stop complaining about her life and get a job. then she won't have to complain about not getting the newest iPhone or iPod or iPad. she'll be able to buy her own. But only if she learns how to pay rent.
clazedaze 1
Ground her and by that I mean put in the ground
tyler907 10
I think you just won this site.
goatchoke 2
kill your idiot child and try again
blackonblight 33
Double click the hashtag. A light tap, intended to annoy, done twice every time a spoken hash tag is used.
Emma44126 5
Just start using hashtags 24-7 around her. She'll stop after she realizes how annoying it is.
greystruck 4
start hashtagging your verbs. like the next time you punch her in the throat
fantasyworld 39
Why is she saying the word hashtag?