Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML
Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML
Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
**** hashtags. I'd rather have hashbrowns.
Ambient25 25
Slap the hashtag off her...
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Comments (173)
Sandsh8rk 36
#thisiswhatsocietyhascometo
CobraLazerFace 21
Yeah, I mean because totally. Remember the good times? Like totally the middle ages rocked! #theblackdeath #toture
TheDrifter 24
Hey a little penicillin will cure that black plague right up. This generation spreads aids like it's temporary. #ain'tnocuringthat
murdersquirrel 15
when you do something ironically, you're still doing it...
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
#SlapTheBitchSilly
JMichael 26
Faith in humanity is totally lost.
CobraLazerFace 21
Just because some teenager started acting like an idiot?
davincidasecond 24
Jesus Christ people like you are so dramatic. Its really not that serious. One teenager is being an idiot, so what? Get over it.
buddy_J 16
The problem is that it isn't just one teenager. It's a crap load of them. It's almost as bad as the swag fags and yolo idiots
JMichael 26
The problem here is I was being sarcastic and you are the people who are being over dramatic over one little comment. Who's the idiot now?
Ins0mau 20
We'll then, it's a sarcastic comment that is used in every second FML and is getting lame!
davincidasecond 24
Right. Because everybody can read sarcasm when it's not made clear. *sarcasm*
murdersquirrel 15
you're doing sarcasm wrong.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You should show her that video of Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon about hasthags so she see how ridiculous she sounds.
KinkyCurly 13
"Hashtag...I'm the real cookie monster"
Madridsta1999 7
When I hear about these annoying people, my eye starts twitching on its own like I want to slap the stupid out of her. Sorry about that You should seriously talk about it with your daughter. Tell her in the future it might damage your business/job and also life. You might fail in life because of the way you talk. Its not a joke, I'm giving you an advice.
Morqan_Freeman 14
If I fart in public will the world torture me to death? Your comment is a bit psychotic. A simple "Are you stupid, you hashtagging *****!?" comment will hopefully end her stupidity.
Madridsta1999 7
No what I meant is If you were an employer Would you hire someone who keeps using hashtags for everything? I would hire someone nice respectful and knows how to speak with irritating people with hashtags. No the comment with "Shut up you hashtagging *****!" Or something like that would help. But an employer or customer wouldnt say that, they would just walk right out of there. Hope you understood
shaytards_fml 9
I bet she's a teenager, it's just a phase that will probably end in a few months. No need for lecturing her
Madridsta1999 7
Good point I just dont want her future to be ruined Better to be safe than to regret
DizzyTizzyy27 5
Clam down. She's obviously a young teenager so it's going to be a while before she needs a job anyway. This is a PHASE She is a CHILD Calm DOWN
Kibaruto 33
I only read "PHASE" "CHILD" and "DOWN". I guess the elevator isn't working then? I'll work with my sciences.
SneezyBear 27
#45 I had to read that more than once. *respect*
RedPillSucks 33
@45 you missed the line... Quoth the Raven, Oh Gawd Please shtapp!
Lady_Vampy 2
#You're grounded; simple response.
NavitasNexus 3
Yes, just plain yes.
DizzyTizzyy27 5
It's just a phase. She's not going to be doing it in 5 years is she? Don't be such a drama queen. All parents experience their children doing one bizarre thing in their lifetime. #stopmoaning
SystemofaBlink41 27
#stopusinghashtags #please
XUDT72 24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57dzaMaouXA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Vlen_fml 20
there is a quick fix to this, ground her a day for every time she says hashtag, and then double her punishment every time she says that's not fair. to make the punishment stick remove all internet enabled devices from her room and give her the alternative of ending said punishment by reading a decent book and giving a small review on it (I recommend Catcher in the Rye or Dances With Wolves, but anything above the middle school reading level will do).
rockhead1270 5
What the **** was a hashtag a year ago? Sad. Maybe you should call her by that name in public.
KingReppin956 15
A year ago it was still Twitter talk dummy
murdersquirrel 15
5 years ago it was a pound sign, and was used to incidate a number. for example, on an automated phone menu or, say, a voicemail password. I remember those times...feels like so long ago...