Miscellaneous: Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy...

By LALALALA - United States

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24115

You deserved it

48764

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Stop talking!

Triage

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

By weezel - South Africa

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13248

You deserved it

53973

Favorite

By Dartfrogger - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30889

You deserved it

2963

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11142

You deserved it

64102

Favorite

By NotTHATbad

Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11477

You deserved it

1081

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Cairns

Wrong place, right time

Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1666

You deserved it

151

Favorite

By Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45498

You deserved it

22898

Favorite

By Muchacha22 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13251

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1649

Favorite

By oops - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72231

You deserved it

6998

Favorite

By unwanted - Canada

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

I agree, your life sucks

45016

You deserved it

6540

Favorite

By Max

Today, I sent a thank you note after a job interview, emphasizing my accuracy at editing written reports; I misspelled the company's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4248

You deserved it

5342

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11504

You deserved it

45891

Favorite

By meowmeow - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11740

You deserved it

31182

Favorite

By Superdumb

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1678

You deserved it

4946

Favorite

By Oops - Australia - Belmore

Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7649

You deserved it

1438

Favorite

By muskogee

Prince Charming

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1281

You deserved it

307

Favorite

By Redhead4life - United States - Miami

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28801

You deserved it

2859

Favorite

By the forgotten one - United States

Today, my grandfather sent everyone in my family an email thanking them for the photo we got him. I'd bought the frame, edited the picture, and delivered it to him. All everyone else did was show up and complain while the picture was being taken. I'm the only one who didn't get a thank you email. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34938

You deserved it

2310

Favorite

By Jo - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26812

You deserved it

3935

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/3/2021 21:30

Loud and clear

Today, I found out that my husband wants to leave me. I got the message loud and clear when his girlfriend forwarded me screenshots of all their texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1002

You deserved it

Favorite

By Fuck Trump. - 3/5/2021 14:01

Debate bro

Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

853

You deserved it

482

Favorite

The best method!

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2845

You deserved it

896

Favorite

By - France

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25263

You deserved it

3743

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32694

You deserved it

3042

Favorite

By budda1368 - United States

Romance isn't dead

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1874

You deserved it

945

Favorite

By coffeeburns - United States

Today, I was at a Starbucks drive-thru and was grabbing a hot coffee when I got rear ended and my car hit the vehicle in front of me which deployed my airbag. Hot coffee can really burn when it hits your face at a high rate of speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55177

You deserved it

3928

Favorite

By mzgabbster - United States

Fright Night

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38113

You deserved it

3353

Favorite

By unfortunate419 - United States

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28381

You deserved it

2710

Favorite

By and not even in the good way - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46498

You deserved it

19871

Favorite

By whatsmccraken - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40614

You deserved it

2288

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23524

You deserved it

6885

Favorite

By Anonymous - Mexico - Guadalupe

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37788

You deserved it

4807

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/9/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Tilehurst

Right in the snowglobes

Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1108

You deserved it

153

Favorite

By biker2012 - United States

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66537

You deserved it

4073

Favorite

By Anonymous

Baby steps

Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1465

You deserved it

2701

Favorite

By Scared - United States

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9535

You deserved it

32592

Favorite

By blasted - United States

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44168

You deserved it

3855

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Brampton

Moving day

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26264

You deserved it

3806

Favorite

By richgirl - United States

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28054

You deserved it

4541

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Boston

#1 Dad!

Today, I told my fiancé he needed to spend at least one night a week at home with his daughter or we will pack up and leave. He responded by getting a suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1784

You deserved it

316

Favorite

By redeye - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40587

You deserved it

2441

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By KillerBunnies | 0

#243423 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:40

You are never too old to be a child all over again! I love watching cartoons because they remind me of when I was little! It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

By Cerataphora | 0

#243405 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:37

TS is good!

COMMENTS

By Cerataphora | 0

#243405 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:37

TS is good!

ryguy997 | 0

#940181 - Friday 12 March 2010 21:55

Disney=okay. Disney pixar= SUCKS DONKEYS!!!

memyselfandme | 0

#991544 - Thursday 13 May 2010 4:05

262 DONT DISS TOY STORY!! 留まはま、はらまやまな

Stefany713 | 0

#1019361 - Friday 4 June 2010 22:59

hey Toy Story movies are awesome!!!!

junkboy | 4

#1423521 - Saturday 18 September 2010 18:34

I did the same thing, except it was for black ops not toy story.

JojoChuo | 8

#2668861 - Monday 13 June 2011 4:47

Op, let's face it, our generation DID wait for a
few years until TS3 came out x)

By Mint_fml | 0

#243417 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:39

I just watched that trailer...2 seconds ago before reading this! I'm 19 too :)
Not really an fml.. more like who wouldn't be excited?!

queenday66 | 0

#2475050 - Sunday 8 May 2011 0:25

I had gotten midnight opening day tickets for TS3. Who wouldn't want to know what they do in this one???

randomguy1millon_fml | 0

#3021992 - Tuesday 2 August 2011 13:33

I hate toy story :D

yowassup44 | 0

#3024112 - Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:34

Omg that's awesome ! Toy story is awesome !

By KillerBunnies | 0

#243423 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:40

You are never too old to be a child all over again! I love watching cartoons because they remind me of when I was little! It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

By StuckZ | 0

#243427 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:40

Pixar!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
just FYL, but don't worry about it too much ;)

By redbluegreen | 40

#243428 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:41

Oh shit! There's a Toy Story 3 coming out!?

No, seriously though, we all do this to something from our childhood atleast once. You're fine.

By foreverisabelx3 | 0

#243429 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:41

lmfaooooooo

By Oupazas | 1

#243430 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:41

HOLY CRAP THERE'S A TRAILER OUT?!?!

By pepperburn | 0

#243432 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:41

it's ok to get excited, but i guess you overdid it a little?

By life_is_life | 0

#243439 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:42

oh wow

By Jaywin | 3

#243441 - Saturday 30 May 2009 1:42

You let your inner child come out for a minute - no big deal.

I'm going to see Up later tonight though so this just got me more pumped for that.