Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (298)
lans4 1
Maybe it was an excuse to break up
cswens25 8
Sometimes being single isn't such a bad thing.
doumtabarnack 12
You're better without that nutshell
Dcm210 19
your better of without him.
ellytoad 13
What a weirdo...
br0ccoli 15
This is a win, trust me. You saved yourself from walking in on him sucking on your used tampons from the bathroom garbage can.
envy2porcelain 4
Why do you people always refer to twilight when someone mentions vampires I mean what about Dracula?
rubberduckie94 13
You should have asked him were his millions were after living several hundred or thousands of years.
obsydian_fml 3
Preparing to get thumbed down, but YDI for not questioning further and just laughing at him. It's possible he believes he's otherkin, or perhaps he's one of those psychic vamps that feed off of people's energy. If that's the case he deserves a more understanding gf. If that's not the case and he really was crazy I take it back.
Pufferfish78 5
She needs to be more understanding if he was "Otherkin" or psychic vamp? You have got to be kidding me.
nevereyes 31
He could have also been a sanguine.
BobbieH 19
Be thankful that you're are no longer dating this tool. Your better off finding a boyfriend that lives in reality and doesn't get caught up in romanticized fair tale stories.