Love, Parenting, Weird and Divorce: What? - FML

What?

By Anonymous - 21/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I had to deal with my baby daddy, who I currently live with and was in a relationship with (but not anymore after today) cursed me out after someone who works for the county came to our home and served him papers. Mind you he’s been speaking on the phone with this person, and told them he would be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 184

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Leave me alone

By notgivingup - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 2 077

Exes from hell

By what the actual fuck?! - 02/08/2021 07:01 - United States

Today, my psychotic ex-boyfriend hit a brand new low. I was served court papers, saying that he’s suing me by demanding I give him a paternity test for my daughter. He’s also telling everyone he’s her real father. He and I were broken up for more than a year before I even got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 112

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 501

Fumbled

By Dean - 23/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 547

Communication breakdown

By Austin - 12/02/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 3 796

Thanks bossman

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 689

You deserved it 3 921

Search and rescue

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex-husband to tell him our daughter was missing (the police have since found her, she’s fine) and he told me not to bother him with shit like that, because she’s my responsibility since she chose to live with me after the divorce. He then hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 247

By =( - 05/04/2014 17:48 - United States - Houston

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 749

You deserved it 14 432

The world's greatest dad

By Nat - 06/08/2022 06:00

Today, I'd had enough of my ex-husband ignoring me and our son, so I threatened to take him to court for sole custody. He didn't even hang up the phone to his client, he just told me to go for it because our son isn't really that interesting anyway, not enough to fight to try keep him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 226

Fight!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 08:01

Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 91

Next

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 21 January 2024 19:01

Kick him out as soon as possible. Preferably by kicking him in the crotch so he falls on his ass after flying out the door.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 21 January 2024 19:01

Kick him out as soon as possible. Preferably by kicking him in the crotch so he falls on his ass after flying out the door.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 330

You deserved it 4 254

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 995

You deserved it 297

Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 132

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 511

You deserved it 7 813

Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 69

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 118

You deserved it 35 146

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 654

You deserved it 5 153