Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
Bootrick 11
If he was a real vampire he would have sucked your blood not break up with you.
missababgaga 19
Oh goodness... Maybe things are better that way.... Just because he's nuts to think that anyone would take him seriously with a claim like that! It's his loss
Leslier_fml 4
You should have played along if you wanted to stay with him.
XxEP1CFAC3xX 4
What a dick
MsLielani 4
And what if he wasn't joking? And he was really a vampire. That just makes you a jerkwad
russaadathena 2
It's best. He is cookoo for coco puffs. He should take solace that you were sane and just laughed and didn't cut off his head in an effort to protect human kind.
Whackamole 1
Hahaha. Maybe you're better off... Seeing as how he believes he is a vampire and what not... Good riddens. :-)
ninad24 2
If you really wanna get back at him, you should tell him Lincoln was your ancestor
dancingcutie1029 2
At least you got out before he became any more crazy!
Fallensimi09 3
And your actually upset over this? No pity from me..
Zomg_Okay 27
You're obviously accustomed to loved ones turning out to be insane, then.