Anonymous
United States
Another one?
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Traditional values
Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML
WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1!
United States
Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML
Anonymous
United States
Diaspora
Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML
Anonymous
Stuck in the past
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
butchapparently
Passing
Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying, "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML
Anonymous
San Diego, United States
Missed connections
Today, I found out the guy I had a huge crush on back in college, and still think of every day, actually did like me back. Except I’ve been married for nearly 8 years to someone else. FML
shastadoe
Los Banos, United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Anonymoys
Pansexuality awaits you
Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML
datgirl92
Toronto, Canada
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML
Top comments
TheMathMajor 26
Tell him you're a vampire.
person961 9
Get into character, be his werewoman!
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Comments (311)
person961 9
Get into character, be his werewoman!
SokDek 14
Does he also frequently take off his shirt?
renrooo 2
Very clever
LolFMLnot 10
He's going all twilight on you. Next thing you know he calls you Bella
rattusrattus 19
Wifwolf. It's a wifwolf. 'Were' is the anglo-saxon word for 'man'. 'Wif' is the word for 'woman'. Therefore a female 'were'wolf would be a wifwolf. Unless you suggest that the OP becomes a man that turns into a woman under full moon, which would be confusing for everyone involved.
doctorhook86 25
Well played 62
hellbilly205 17
62 must be OP's crush and he doesn't even know it.
rattusrattus 19
@75 My androgynous look is a success! :D Nah, I'm just a random pedant. And female.
DocBastard 40
God damn it rattusrattus, how dare you teach me something here! This is FML, not a linguistics class! Lolololol *cough cough* Nevermind. Carry on.
DogsPaw 16
62 - Made me think of WiFi when I first read it.
Cad6 24
Still a better love story than Twi-Oh wait...
CadyAsInKatie 8
62- Then wouldn't we call him a werewif? If he became a woman under the full moon... Haha.
xoconnie 8
thats hot.
lifeguardd 0
Docbastard.. I didn't know God's last name is 'Damn'. Explain please.
mjoyn98 1
If his name is Jacob Black, this is totally acceptable.
missalkali 8
62- that's pretty much what a werewolf is, a man who turns into a bloodsucking creature at the full moon. wolf or woman is only a minor technicality. I'm a female, I can be sexist against women
badactor009 0
God? There are people who still believe in that?
Krysk_fml 0
164- No you can't. Also, werewolves aren't the ones that suck blood
rattusrattus 19
Sure, you can be sexist. Free speech and all that. Just expect people to call you out on your bullshit. Y'know, because free speech. Also, that was one of the most misogynistic things I've heard outside of the various arseholes of the internet. Still pretty ******' misogynistic.
katcot99 11
158: smart ass.
THE_A_TEEN 28
So, his arse is an intelligent, sentient being?
SkoomaKi 28
I wish my ass had some intelligence, all it does is sit everywhere like a dumbass.
challan 19
Bit of werewolf knowledge going on... Interesting but weird. Lol I always thought werewolf referred to both sexes, however I have heard the term shewolf. I wonder if she'd become the scariest monster out there if her period and the full moon landed on the same day...
lonkite101 14
He wouldn't lie to you, OP, about a such important thing
mhopper 13
Tell him to turn you! Join him!!!
muggle_born 6
Taylor lautner? I think the only thing he has going for him is abs.
Kikitann 9
I always read your comments in Pinkie Pie's voice :c
Ray_of_midnight 23
Unless you're a fan of Ranma 1/2.
capper44 18
#219 : damn that can the dooms day lol
itwasallyellow 0
At least you uh.. Dodged that bullet? ;)
yoyoforpeace 14
I'm guessing OP doesn't like it rough.
Wolfipoo 31
That would still be a better love story than Twilight though.
Pixiebby 4
He literally never wears. A shirt.
TheMathMajor 26
Tell him you're a vampire.
DobiesJS2012 9
Preferably one that doesn't sparkle in sunlight..
DontModMeDammit 10
Preferably one like Kate beckinsale.
DobiesJS2012 9
^My hero^
Calyx_fml 22
It even better... Like Aaliyah in Queen of the Damned! Now THAT was a ******* vampire!
KatherineAnne 7
Just walk up and bite him
Jaxx66 21
Hell no, 55!! If I were a vampire, i would be Lydia :) (Pandora).
DeadxManxWalking 27
That just makes things kinky. People actually like that.
Pandacupcakelove 26
But they're natural enemies... Geek moment. Sorry.
ColorCommentator 0
Alucard is a real ******* vampire.
StopDropNRoll 11
No one mentions Dracula??
TheMathMajor 26
108, exactly. Then there will be this forbidden love thing going on between them and it will be much sexier :)
penguin_princess 0
If I were a vampire and be Selene off of underworld! Or one from Van Helsing cuz they can fly. :3
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Were's a leather clad Wesley snipes when you need him :)
Wicked361 8
FORBIDDEN ROMANCE!!!!!
cheefer 0
Or she could stop being a bitch and quit crushing him!
deviable 9
Lara from Dresden files!
Calyx_fml 22
One word... Blackula.
challan 19
Sexiest female vampire was in Bram Stokers Dracula and was his #1 wife. Thats who I'd be ;)
ShutUpAndStare 7
I was waiting for someone to say that. Oh eww... He stepped in fairy shit... It's all over the bottom of his shoe- oh wait nevermind, that's just Edward.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Hold on I'll be back *leaves for 10 minutes* returns in wesley snipes costume *utters some obscure blade quote*
kalbrek009 20
Lol. I see what you did there.
XtraEzeee 8
If I was a vampire, I'd be my Skyrim character. Even during the day he still dominates.
dethbunny 0
Alucard is the shit! He is the best vampire
DobiesJS2012 9
Shoot him with a silver bullet and see if he dies!!!
SkoomaKi 28
Or decapitation. You could shoot him with a silver coated mortar shell and decapitate him at the same time.
igive 29
3- your comment reminds me of the method they used to determine if a person was a witch or not: if she drowns, then she wasn't a witch.
DobiesJS2012 9
Or we could set him up with a suicide bomber disguised as red riding hood?
ibenj 1
Why would we do that?
iLoveTo69Bitches 0
Shitty joke.
Heinousness 0
I agree with 31. I also think that if OP still loves him, she wouldn't try to find out
EnterSandman_fml 20
32, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought of Jin-Roh,
myalleyway 9
...
muggle_born 6
I thought you were referencing supernatural. lol
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
He's gonna die whether he's a werewolf or not....
Samanthamkellyxo 2
Hahahaha I love FML's
siickman 7
You love **** my lifes?
Carlie_McCartney 1
I figured that was why you were here...
Samanthamkellyxo 2
That is what they're called, FML's, and yes I get a good laugh out of them haha.
danishbagel 3
Actually they're called FMLs, not FML's. You can't have an owner without an object. Hurdur.
Zomg_Okay 27
No, it would be "FMLs". Not "FML's". The ' makes the FML possessive.
Samanthamkellyxo 2
Oh here come the grammar Nazi's, regardless you get the juste of it. You people NEED lives. You really do. Take things as a grain of salt and learn to laugh! Hahaha
Unlucky_Gun 0
good for you mr. grammar nazi, nobody gives a crap. it's the internet, not english language class alright? you seem to have those 2 things mixed up. so screw off with your stupid english lessons and take them back to the classroom where you teach foreigners english. people like you that correct peoples grammar/spelling on the internet as if it actually matters here need to get a life
furlives 0
Autocorrect probably
akallaan 7
Actually, abbreviations, dates, and a few others can have apostrophes without showing ownership. It's a personal preference really. This is if the grammar rules haven't changed.
elinachka 7
It's better than a gay vampire....
ProhibitionRose 14
Team Jacob ftw?! . . . Yeah I kinda hate myself for saying that :|
stevenJB 25
Well...now I have a stomach cramp. Thx Alot.
hellbilly205 17
7 read the reply above about shape-changers please.
nessabbaayy16 0
I would too! ?
Bobientje 3
Don't worry. I also hate you for saying that.
twifan1901 0
So do I
PYLrulz 17
Spread the hate! I am
Michael_92 20
Then why the hell would you say it to begin with!!??
KiddNYC1O 22
It's okay, I'm a fan too! *hurls*
Nyx7 24
Don't worry, we all hate you a little bit for it
eastsidesoldier 7
My friend thought he was a vampire once...
br0ccoli 15
8- Did you catch him sucking on tampons?
Redoxx_fml 22
Then he realized he was just emo
TheMathMajor 26
Is your friend Butters from south park? XD
challan 19
105- what did the one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month.
SkoomaKi 28
No, but you just did. Damn you.
French_Toast_fml 3
There should be a full moon in a couple weeks. Then you'll know for sure!
SokDek 14
Where wolf?
Grimmerie 31
There wolf.
siickman 7
But if they date, their wolf.
BrotherTheo 31
There Castle!
mixzies 6
Cher wolf
Ray_of_midnight 23
Why are you talking like that?
higgy6969 7
Blukah!
BrotherTheo 31
*sigh* Hasn't Anyone Seen 'Young Frankenstein'? Anyone?