Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Spicy
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 918
You deserved it 15 957

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You sound like a caring boyfriend... But seriously you could've asked to shower together? Your girlfriend is definitely dumb though. Good luck.

Omg op that's disgusting! You guys didn't have any chocolate?

Comments

Omg op that's disgusting! You guys didn't have any chocolate?

No they totally did this because they love the taste of shaving cream.

she never said anything that suggested they enjoyed the taste of the shaving cream. she was suggesting the use of chocolate which can be warmed up to a viscous liquidy state and put on a persons body to be eaten off. it is quite enjoyable and delicious as hell.

I'm just surprised OP didn't vomit. I'm pretty sure shaving cream is a base.

I'm surprised he didn't say no. I mean, really, that stuff can make you sick.

Yourheadache 19

You should always have Whipped cream, chocolate, and strawberries at home, well at least I do that's one thing I never forget to buy when I go grocery shopping.

Wiringify 22

Damn no one understands your sarcasm #45

You gotta hand it to OP though, that's real dedication right there!

doing_it_ritee 5
brittanyrmh_ 12

139 - I don't know why you found that so funny

I would hate to see what OP would have to lick up if his idiot girlfriend tried to cover herself in chocolate. Urgh.

You sound like a caring boyfriend... But seriously you could've asked to shower together? Your girlfriend is definitely dumb though. Good luck.

Dumb is never "fun." Dumb is dumb. But I say OP should get some serious bonus points for licking off shaving cream.... Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't make him really ill...

She's more than dumb if she thought shaving cream would taste good. Thanks OP I did just throw up.

The only time dumb is fun is when you have no relation to the fools ans can laugh at them. Though, that doesn't mean you can always laugh at stupidity...sometimes it just leaves your hand on your head as you slowly motion 'no'....

If it were not for dumb, we couldn't laugh at girls "jumping up and down" after unprotected sex and what not... Think about the lost entertainment possibilities....

weirdos like this can get such caring boyfriend but normal girls couldn't!!

I don't think he really qualifies for "caring boyfriend" as much as I consider him... strange. If there's shaving cream on her, then it should take at most 1-2 licks to be able to inform her of it. If they are in a relationship, then I don't see the problem in saying "honey, that's shaving cream and it tastes horrible. How about we hop in the shower and clean you up nice and slow?"

In his defense , if had said anything other than going along with it, she could have flipped out on him and just gone into a bitch-fit. It was the first attempt at intimacy in months, and this is fml, shit like that happens.

Okay, who uses shaving cream in bed to make things "slip and slide?" No one I know. I would NOT want shaving cream all up in my ******. No sir.

156, while I admit that is a possibility, it seems more likely that she falls into the group of people who mistake non-food-items for food items based on the name. I've heard of more than one person who decided to spread petroleum jelly on toast due to the word 'jelly'. In the case of shaving/whipped cream: they look the same, they have similar names, so she probably just figured it would be edible. I can't decide whether it's gullibility, naivete, or just plain old stupidity.

so go to the store and purchase some?

Come on thats taking the easy way out everybody likes a challenge.

chivalry, I thought that only happened in Shakespeare's time?

it is pretty annoying how when people fail at sarcasm, they assume that all of us are just unable to see the sarcasm and didnt like their "hilarious" comment and feel the need to tell us. people just need to accept that sometimes, they make really shitty jokes. everyone does it.

RedPillSucks 31

@4 Chivalry is dead after gaking on a mouthful of shaving cream.

wlddog 14

104, damn you for beating me to the punch. I can not imagine eating shaving cream for any reason. OP is as big an idiot as the girlfriend.

oj101 33

Gah. I don't even use shaving cream to shave myself, since you have that super strong taste even if a tiny bit slips into your mouth, that weird smell that lasts days, and rubbery skin.

I have no clue what type you're buying, but that sounds dreadful. I never get that problem though. Don't get the cheap stuff!

i KIND OF ALMOST understand your reasoning, if A) you weren't there for the shaving-cream-decision-process and B) you're really trying to avoid hurting your gf's feelings. and if that IS the situation, you need to examine your gf's self-esteem, and your own, 'cause DUDE WHY WOULD YOU INGEST A SUBSTANCE THAT STATES "FO NOT INGEST" ON THE BOTTLE? srsly, just stop after the first lick! o_O

Looks like op doesn't have much common sense.

*DO, sorry i was/am incredulously ragin'

42, I totally pictured Mr. T saying that!

There's no ******* way that would've happened in my bed.. The store isn't that far!

I'm gonna go stock up some whip cream... And to OP, you might as well give her a full body shave, lol

i think someone is whipped (no pun intended)

perdix 29

Why didn't you intend the pun? It's a great one! I'd even let you borrow my sunglasses so you could make it!

"shaving cream? No, honey, that was Nair!"