Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
fyl7899 12
someone has been reading too much crap known to be Twilight
fukmefreddy 4
you should have asked him if vampires suck menstrual blood lol
robo_thunder 13
Its okay, you can sit and stare out a window for six months till he comes back.
NewKonoiche 6
Hehe. I once had a boyfriend who was a vampire, too. And by that I mean an "emotional vampire." You know, one of those people who always makes everything about them and is so negative they make everyone else feel bad. Maybe that's what your ex boyfriend meant? Although, I can't see anyone proudly admitting to that...
jjmiller1001 17
Your better off with out that nut job
88vivera 9
He's stupid. Ur awesome
Urpoppy 21
Would you rather be single than with some ******* nut job?
Special_Psycho 8
You freaking deserved that one! Anybody who doesn't think magical beings are real is a total fool! Anyone who thinks it's all evil is an even bigger fool!
DotDootyDot 17
I'd be happy if I were you.
JuliaAlyse 1
Maybe he really was a vampire.
nevereyes 31
He probably would have worded it differently.... Used words like sang or psi.