Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
daytoday21 10
Well I mean, otherwise you would have needed to break up with him.
klovely22 13
I can't believe he was serious!! Maybe you are better off. You may not want to be associated with him when decides to try and drink someone's blood. Sorry OP. FYL.
theMelimda 3
You're saying you're single like its a bad thing...
cwalmye 9
Kinda sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one....
loserman67 36
Well, on the positive side you win because you are much better off without this idiot cluttering up your life with his childish fantasy. On the negative side you lose, because if he really was a vampire he'd have no problem going down on you during that time of the month.
obviousboy 8
Shouldn't a vampire have killed you, not emo'd out?
sandrocampa 2
Thats what you get for dating a tool
blink_kid 32
Sounds like he was just looking for an excuse to break up with you.
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : _35: In regaurds to your poptart comment, I actually tried frozen s'more poptarts after reading that FML ... surprisingly they are pretty good! ;)
PYROxSYCO3 7
Wanna go vampire huntin'