Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
ASD_K 11
Lol, he is a massive idiot apparently. You're better off without him.
greenmen 12
Good for you. You still alive!
Bpwoods 6
If I was you, I would be glad that you aren't with him anymore. It's much better to be single then to be with a crazy vampire...
kayliers 5
Is he Michael Vampire?
JaysFanStu 3
Probably for the better.
notepie 6
Now at that point why would your life suck... Cuz now you don't have to worry about a dumb ass like that anymore! Sounds to me like the guy is a loser!
GoArmy57 7
Be glad you got away before he turned you into one.
Felling 14
This happened to a friend of mine who's boyfriend said he was a werewolf. She believed him & their still together. 2 years later.
captainburke 5
I'm sure he'll be coming out of the closet soon
SwtCherryPie 26
For the moment it sucks for you but in the long run you are better off.