Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
ChristineAnn58 8
That's not so much an FML. it can be positive too, think about it. If he truly believes he's a vampire could you actually see yourself going any further in that relationship? Even if it is sad, you should find someone that is right in the head.
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
If he really was a vampire --- that would suck for you. Shoulda asked him to prove it:P sounds kinky haha. I mean hell, why not?
twiztedone 19
Where's the thankfully button?
0ops_i_died 8
I'm surprised you weren't the one to break it off after hearing that...
Zomg_Okay 27
You're better off single. If he thinks he's a proper vampire, he either plans to drain you of your blood or turn you into another one of the undying. If he thinks he's Tinkerbelle, then he's a dipshit and you're better off.
iwadasn 33
Tinkerbell isn't a vampire...
Zomg_Okay 27
I know Tinkerbelle isn't a vampire, hence why I used that name to refer to the "vampire" known as Edward.
ktlnnmllr 4
Maybe hes telling the truth!! Lol jk but dont talk shit on twilight!!!
Zomg_Okay 27
What has this got to do with Twilight? The FML is clearly about vampires, not fairies.
ktlnnmllr 4
Maybe hes telling the truth!! Lol jk but dont talk shit on twilight!!!
Metallica36176 16
Well, look at the bright side at least he didn't go and kill your parents for his girlfriend like that 1 dude that thought he was a "vampire".
leadawg75 12
Hey vampires are real...according to Josh Gates :P
Rianokami 22
Twilight deserves to be mocked. They aren't vampires, they're sparkly pixies that have no fangs and aren't dangerous. A real vampire is all about the danger, fangs, and power, with some sexiness added. But no, vampires are not real. Your bf sounds like a roleplayer. Sorry he dumped you dear.