Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (298)
your_ma 27
I've gotta tell you sweetie, you're a lot better off single than in a relationship with some weirdo who thinks he's a vampire..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I'm a vampire." "GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND BURN!!! I swear to god, if you sparkle, I will END YOU."
flutter4 7
It's probably for the best that you are single now
ohSNAPyall 27
Yeah, you dodged a silver bullet.
mario1898 3
Servers you right for getting dumped you dumb bitch.
Myo_fml 20
Did you even read the FML?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Ahehe. Sorry. The Mods strike again! *shakes paw at the mods*
khalil2694 6
Pizza rolls
vodkaliciouz 4
He's a moron, no matter what actual reason he had, to tell you that in the first place. Give him your used tampon as a parting gift and tell him to "please enjoy.."
pinkpixie06 11
One thing's for sure, you're no Bella. j/k You're probably better off OP.
mario1898 3
You deserve you dumb bitch.
JustKittyKat 24
Why is it I keep hearing about idiots who are convinced that they are werewolves and vampires?
Complaining 13
He just wants an understanding partner.