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Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML
As you're doing on company time, and therefore getting paid, does this make you all sex workers?
Maybe you ought to start a Fight Club so you can beat each other instead of off.