Love: Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my...

By JessBaby - 04/05/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 892

You deserved it 6 553

Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

This Charming Man

Age difference

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 347

You deserved it 3 297

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 345

You deserved it 19 695

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 119

You deserved it 8 971

By blahpizzablah - 22/06/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 521

You deserved it 3 798

That's gonna cost ya!

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 15:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I accidentally stepped on the metal prongs of an extension cord. After pulling it out of my sock, I noticed that all three of the prongs were covered in blood; they penetrated my foot. It bled like a gunshot wound for several minutes, and now my foot is unbearably sore, making it painful to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 139

Help needed

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 22:56

Today, I've been asking for help to close up store for the last 7 months, at the height of a global pandemic. My boss's excuse for no help? Joe Biden and the government is keeping everyone who would earn 10 dollars an hour from working, because they are all lazy. Joe wasn't president 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 115

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 636

You deserved it 615

By lifelike - 29/10/2012 04:23 - United States - Oroville

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 789

You deserved it 5 348

By justgreat - 28/09/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 952

You deserved it 3 389

By cjhgvb - 06/11/2014 00:48 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 301

You deserved it 4 205

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 950

You deserved it 7 709

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 00:49 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 387

You deserved it 21 314

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 644

You deserved it 8 337

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 579

You deserved it 4 771

By Anonymous - 10/05/2017 00:10 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I got written up with a final warning because I ''drink alcoholic beverages'' at work. I was drinking Root Beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 336

By purplepixie23 - 22/09/2018 14:00

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 177

You deserved it 218

Parenting

By anon - 30/06/2020 08:02

Today, my mom volunteered me to watch her cousin’s 7-year-old daughter overnight. She’s a nice kid, but sadly the mom has babied her so much that she literally can’t do a thing for herself. She needed help wiping, bathing and even brushing her teeth. Her mom does it all and never taught her differently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 111

By Username - 27/06/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 346

You deserved it 7 737

Management balls-up

By lene - 11/03/2021 04:57

Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 130

By WOWBear - 05/06/2013 09:46 - United States - Mesa

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 160

You deserved it 13 177

By Totallyscrewed - 10/02/2013 05:17 - United States - Stroudsburg

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 425

You deserved it 3 646

Nice

By meg - 07/02/2021 00:30

Today I got my senior pictures back from the photographer. When my boyfriend saw them, he said I look creepy. Not pretty, not beautiful, not even decent. Creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 110

By isthisajoke - 15/01/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 030

You deserved it 2 423

By holycrap - 03/03/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 745

You deserved it 2 773

Power moves

By Travis - 10/09/2021 22:59

Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 016

By getafucktoysomewhereelsedude - 16/05/2013 20:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 073

You deserved it 17 208

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 919

You deserved it 47 458

A tale as old as time

By I'm_Not_Interested - 06/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 2 874

By wtf - 10/01/2014 16:47 - United States - Delmar

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 930

You deserved it 4 961

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 472

You deserved it 56 364

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 12:50 - United States

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 4 345

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 18:12 - United States - Tustin

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 926

You deserved it 41 043

Kinky.

By Therapy needed urgently - 08/04/2018 19:00

Today, after I got fed up and told my bullying step-brother exactly what I thought of him, he became overly polite. He then admitted that me shouting at him was the most turned on he's ever been in his life. Now he loves me and wants to be my "submissive" boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 517

You deserved it 412

By bullllllshittttt - 06/03/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, I went to a rave where apparently one of my favorite rappers was supposed to perform. I stood in line for 2 hours in the rain, got pushed and shoved, and had to witness a bunch of drunken idiots puke all over the place. Once I finally got to the front of the line, they closed the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 6 541

By idontbleedfromthere - 22/08/2012 23:10 - United States - Indio

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 909

You deserved it 2 167

By no cake for me - 07/11/2012 07:31 - United States - Jackson Heights

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 755

You deserved it 25 865

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 520

You deserved it 4 245

By Larentiah - 26/02/2012 22:18 - United States

Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 645

You deserved it 31 439

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 274 847

You deserved it 88 035

By KWM - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 110

You deserved it 38 987

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Top comments

Zigster94 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:07

you're better off without him. if he cares more about his bed than your tears, he isn't the right guy

jorygirly 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:09

what an ignorant selfish ingrate boyfriend. I've heard of guys having no feelings but this is out of control. Dump him

Zigster94 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:07

you're better off without him. if he cares more about his bed than your tears, he isn't the right guy

hellzrydaz 0

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Friday 5 March 2010 4:18

YDI 1. fo having a grandmother 2. for being a fuckin baby

Kgirl2cute 6

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Friday 19 March 2010 7:26

242, you're an idiot. in order to be born, you MUST have a grandmother.

ryguy997 0

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Monday 5 April 2010 5:46

242, like 243 said, you couldn't have been born without having one. so you hate your grandma? and if someone in your family died, wouldn't you cry? if not then you are a cold hearted insensitive bas*ard.

todo350 0

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Friday 2 July 2010 19:27

ry and kg, surrigate, IBF. good game.

mayumm 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 6:15

242, must not have much of a life. One of her family members just passed away and shes a "fuckin baby" about it?? And its not like you dont have a grandma either dumbass. Its like me saying YDI for having hands. Grow up junior.

UsernameUnknown 7

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Saturday 16 July 2011 11:30

What does YDI stand for!!!!!!!

hobbsicle805 0

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Thursday 4 August 2011 20:58

you deserved it?..

xobeachbabe 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:09

ditch his sorry ass!

Mushaboom_fml 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:09

Aww. Sorry about your grandma. ='( Maybe he isn't right for you...

jorygirly 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:09

what an ignorant selfish ingrate boyfriend. I've heard of guys having no feelings but this is out of control. Dump him

brydeec 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:10

What an asshole of a boyfriend. Fuck him. (I don't mean that literally.)

mcsnelly 5

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:10

Who would say that? SERIOUSLY?? dump the douche!

althemaster 16

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:11

That sounds so terrible... Why do girls stay with guys like that?

dothehelenkeller 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:12

He's a dickweed. Dump his ass and find someone who cares about your feelings.

SoFreakinNaive 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:12

damn, what a dick!

ryguy997 0

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Monday 5 April 2010 5:48

that's what she said! lol. but sorry about your grandma, OP. Hope you find a better boyfriend! this sentence is an attempt to bypass the anti flood shield.