FML : Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him...

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Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Hannah - / Thursday 13 June 2013 16:19 / Australia - Caulfield North

Intimacy

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Top comments

By kianaaa32 | 17

#5533827 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:10

Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.

By thomas5915 | 15

#5533832 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:11

Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does

Comments

By kianaaa32 | 17

#5533827 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:10

Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.

Misswildsides | 22

#5533840 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:12

*googles hermaphrodite*

kianaaa32 | 17

#5533846 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:13

What relevance does your comment have towards mine?

Misswildsides | 22

#5533866 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:16

*googles hermaphrodite*

alliewillie | 22

#5534002 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:21

True, as long as he doesn't go around telling people you're a hermaphrodite.... That would be awful. You need to clear things up, THEN get rid of him for good.

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5534047 - Friday 14 June 2013 05:04

He's in the Newbie stage. who knows how long until he reaches the level of figuring out girls don't pee out of their vaginas. That one's for the intermediate level.

GwennaRose | 22

#5534667 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:23

97 Just out of curiosity, what is the advanced level?

hooligyn123 | 18

#5534689 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:55

#195.. The Female Orgasm.

feelingold | 18

#5535162 - Saturday 15 June 2013 12:07

Technically that's exactly what the clitoris is. That's the part which develops (in the male foetus) into a penis. It's got the same nerve endings, which is why it's so sensitive....so maybe your idiot boyfriend is smarter than he realizes...

Vjewerica | 9

#5535776 - Saturday 15 June 2013 11:36

I just logged in to write exactly the same thing.

FitFriday | 32

#6315116 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 09:38

Well then I leaned something new today

By brackaman | 18

#5533831 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:11

Sounds like you two are too young to be doing anything in the first place.

ItsKennyBaby | 9

#5533870 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:17

Actually it sounds like the boyfriend was just really stupid

ElmoSaysSquishy | 28

#5533873 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:17

You'd be surprised how little some males know about basic female anatomy.

184886837272837 | 31

#5533911 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:38

I know a girl who didn't even know where her own clitoris was (she was 18)

Enslaved | 36

#5533939 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:54

An episode of "Sex and the City" made a few girls break out the hand mirror and look right then and there!

jem970 | 19

#5533969 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:08

Guilty...

evilplatypus | 34

#5534039 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:57

48 - I believe that's also in Fried Green Tomatoes

Enslaved | 36

#5534049 - Friday 14 June 2013 05:05

Hmmm. Might be.(: all I truly remember about that movie is wanting to rear end those bitches that try and steal my parking spot! Lol

omg36 | 7

#5534056 - Friday 14 June 2013 05:10

Haha! I thought that sounded familiar but I've never seen sex and the city.

brackaman | 18

#5534215 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:47

Well sorry about that. Where I live the ten year olds can give an unnervingly accurate description of the female anatomy. I'm not saying that you have to know how to use it, but if you don't know it exists that might be cause for concern.

nurchok | 15

#5534229 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:58

#36, did you show her?

prc_ | 4

#5534312 - Friday 14 June 2013 08:22

@22 I am more surprised about OP's country's school system. In here the first anatomy thingies are taught at 5th grade (11-12y old)... and on 7th or was it 8th grade they go into bit more details... and actually teach how to put on a condom (on a banana).

louiseth | 9

#5534323 - Friday 14 June 2013 08:32

159 - Nope, I'm also from Australia and we definitely had sex ed from grade 5 and onwards. The OP's ex boyfriend is actually just an idiot.

SugarSpunSister | 8

#5534326 - Friday 14 June 2013 08:34

See, I'm 29, and I wouldn't be able to put a conform on a banana without giggling. That's just mean.

SugarSpunSister | 8

#5534329 - Friday 14 June 2013 08:35

Condom. Damn morning eyes

Sylvasa | 15

#5534420 - Friday 14 June 2013 10:27

When I was 13, my teacher asked who wanted to do that. Then a mean girl pointed to me and said: "Sylvasa wants to!" The teacher then made me do so in front of the whole class. I failed, didn't hold the resevoir...

kewpiesuicide | 29

#5534614 - Friday 14 June 2013 02:20

What? You have to hold the reservoir? Thank God I'm a lesbian...

izzie321 | 27

#5535056 - Friday 14 June 2013 09:39

Why would a child younger than 10 have an FML, let alone post something like this?

toalysium | 15

#5537562 - Sunday 16 June 2013 04:59

It's ok, condoms do conform to the shape.

By thomas5915 | 15

#5533832 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:11

Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does

By challan | 19

#5533835 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:11

I've seen some big chacha's in porn, but dang girl, that's some national geographic stuff in your panties.

erockinthesuburb | 17

#5533861 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:15

Lol @ chachas. Let's all quote funny names for vaginas!

ElmoSaysSquishy | 28

#5533879 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:19

My mother calls it a fandango

kianaaa32 | 17

#5533884 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:20

I once had a foreign student in one of my high school classes who pronounced it as "the fageena".

jem970 | 19

#5533889 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:22

My mother and grandmothers always called it a rosebud.

Vashen | 5

#5533893 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:23

I like Elliott's name for it from Scrubs, "bajingo".

Enslaved | 36

#5533901 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:29

"Fandango"? Your mom must be a "Queens" fan. "Galileo, galileo Galileo figaro" :P

BntyHntrSeattle | 30

#5533902 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:29

Hoo-Ha for the win.

olpally | 32

#5533926 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:49

Snatch! :) giggity ;) lol

challan | 19

#5533942 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:55

I love bajingo... May steal that. However snatch? My punani is a tasty snack not a nasty snatch.

olpally | 32

#5533944 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:56

LMFAO!^^ oh my gosh...

buckdharma | 34

#5533957 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:03

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Enslaved | 36

#5533968 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:07

Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

challan | 19

#5533976 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:13

Thunderbolts of lightning, her snatch is very, very frightening

buckdharma | 34

#5533989 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:16

Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening ME!

olpally | 32

#5533996 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:19

Bohemian rhapsody. Snatch style. Lol. Epic thread.

buckdharma | 34

#5533997 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:19

So you think if I touch it, it'll spit in my eye?

mariazzz | 5

#5534012 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:29

I call it moungie. I've heard it called a money box before lol

buckdharma | 34

#5534013 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:29

It's a tiny penis Anyone can see It's a tiny penis, It's a tiny penis to me

tnebert | 8

#5534029 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:41

a friend of mine called it her underground.

peanutfoo | 19

#5534033 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:44

My friend calls it little china:)

evilplatypus | 34

#5534043 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:59

Apparently a slang word for it in Spanish is Toto. Made for interesting times when one of the ESL classes at my school watched Wizard of Oz...

jkmartinjk | 16

#5534046 - Friday 14 June 2013 05:03

My grandmother calls it 'Jim Jim.' Awkward now that my aunt's boyfriend's name is Jim...

hotPinklipstick | 24

#5534053 - Friday 14 June 2013 05:08

I prefer to say vajayjay. My husband calls it my downstairs mixer, I never quite understood that though. Lol

cristy91 | 33

#5534170 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:22

Cuban family so it's always been toto, bollo, chocha, or papaya

love_me_electric | 20

#5534186 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:33

I say "vagenie" sometimes, like a genie in a bottle. If you rub it, it grants wishes.

Prolux_fml | 23

#5534188 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:34

I say cooch :P

princess09 | 3

#5534208 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:41

My family calls it "peacha" because according to them, it resembles a fuzzy peach.

nurchok | 15

#5534253 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:12

I like to call it "the girl's downstairs"

zango1 | 15

#5534257 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:18

Some British terms for the female front bottom: Fanny (which is why American tourists talking about fanny packs leads to sniggering), muff, clunge, vag, bearded axe wound, clam

HannahLouise96 | 13

#5534264 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:27

This is the best thread ever.

Wizardo | 32

#5534376 - Friday 14 June 2013 09:32

We call it the 'growler' or the 'beaver' or if its really hairy 'the bushy, Marxist, feminist vagina', there's also the axe wound, pink taco, meat glove...

icryevrytime | 7

#5534426 - Friday 14 June 2013 10:35

You are forgetting the ever classy meat wallet and cum dumpster

anxietydisorderz | 6

#5534532 - Friday 14 June 2013 12:41

Hahahahahah!!!!!

kewpiesuicide | 29

#5534622 - Friday 14 June 2013 02:26

I thought it was called a pitterputt until I took sex ed. Thanks mom.. My girlfriends mom calls it a bug :/

buckdharma | 34

#5534658 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:12

Does it cum? Where's it go? Will you let me know?

WolfGirlRin | 12

#5534913 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:18

My family has always called it "chichi." Imagine how much I giggled when I first watched Dragon Ball.. I've also heard it being called a panooch. My friends mom calls it a cookie.. Thank god I'm a lesbian or I don't think I'd be able to eat cookies again.

hama806 | 19

#5535346 - Saturday 15 June 2013 03:34

We call it cooss cooss in my family, or coo coo for short.

kriz_allizwell | 6

#5535827 - Saturday 15 June 2013 12:33

Love button :)

ardencred | 7

#5536253 - Saturday 15 June 2013 06:22

Me gusta reggae Me gusta punk rock Pero la cosa que me gusta más es panochita

Evilfriend18 | 4

#5635565 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 10:18

Pink Taco : D

cjwayy | 22

#5891400 - Friday 21 March 2014 03:22

I call mine my pikachu.

By tommyfox | 19

#5533842 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:12

Idiots like him cause me to want to tear each of my hairs out individually and then jump into an active volcano because of the condition of the human race.

brackaman | 18

#5533848 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:13

You uh... Might wanna see a therapist about that..

SirMichael | 13

#5534021 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:32

I'd rather just throw him in the volcano.

Dusty_Busters | 15

#5534244 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:08

Daaaaaaamn! Take it easy

nurchok | 15

#5534251 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:11

#11, or "the rapist"

By Zwingend | 15

#5533843 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:13

Was there a particular point in the courtship where he said "Are you, or are you not, a hermaphrodite?" If not, I say that you and your downstairs mix-up are totally in the clear!

By imtooshy | 15

#5533844 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:13

Be happy, be very happy as he obviously has no clue about the female anatomy.

By dead_insects | 18

#5533847 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:13

oh god... the stupidity is painful..

By nattynatters | 14

#5533850 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:13

You're better off without an inexperienced, paranoid troll.

By INDYSTRUCTABLE | 41

#5533851 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:14

technically, isn't it ?!

ElmoSaysSquishy | 28

#5533890 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:23

Yes. If a Y chromosome was present it would have developed into a penis, but since there isn't girls have clits. This is the typical situation anyway since there is more chromosomal combinations than XX and XY. It still doesn't justify OP's ex calling her a hermaphrodite though.

jem970 | 19

#5533945 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:57

Not necessarily. The right amount of hormones introduced during that stage of development could result in female anatomy instead of male. The XY and XX chromosomes does not always dictate the gender of a baby. There are men who are walking around with XX chromosomes just as there are women with XY.

jannatanelle | 5

#5533952 - Friday 14 June 2013 03:59

#13 from a technical point of view yes but then all females are hermaphrodites and his only choice would be to be bi or gay

ElmoSaysSquishy | 28

#5533967 - Friday 14 June 2013 04:07

Yeah 51 I did neglect that when typing my comment, thank you for adding that. The situation I was talking about was the more typical situation when the chromosomes match up to some extent, but yeah intersex people are not an uncommon thing.

silencebabyy | 23

#5534133 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:04

adding to what #28 said ...apparently the clitoris is 8-11 inches inwards when not stimulated and gets erect and stretches even more when stimulated

CharresBarkrey | 15

#5534224 - Friday 14 June 2013 06:54

114 - Someone told you that and you actually believed it? There are internal structures directly behind the female clit, there is NO WAY it could be 8 inches long. That is literally the most outrageous thing I've ever heard.

Dusty_Busters | 15

#5534249 - Friday 14 June 2013 07:10

Lol yea true

andrekrivo | 20

#5534298 - Friday 14 June 2013 08:09

#130 if that's the most outrageous thing you've ever read then you better get off the internet. this is not the place for you ;p

kamikrazy | 6

#5534377 - Friday 14 June 2013 09:33

*goes to google*

kitkatmiaow | 18

#5534513 - Friday 14 June 2013 12:16

Actually #130, it's does extend back... The organ itself stretches round both sides and round the back of the uterus. When stimulated it tightens. It is a fairly recent discovery, made using new technologies that allowed for more detailed internal images of inside the human body ...