By Hannah - 13/06/2013 16:19 - Australia - Caulfield North

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 67 282
You deserved it 6 057

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Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.

Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does


Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.

Misswildsides 22

*googles hermaphrodite*

What relevance does your comment have towards mine?

Misswildsides 22

*googles hermaphrodite*

alliewillie 22

True, as long as he doesn't go around telling people you're a hermaphrodite.... That would be awful. You need to clear things up, THEN get rid of him for good.

He's in the Newbie stage. who knows how long until he reaches the level of figuring out girls don't pee out of their vaginas. That one's for the intermediate level.

GwennaRose 22

97 Just out of curiosity, what is the advanced level?

hooligyn123 18

#195.. The Female Orgasm.

Technically that's exactly what the ******** is. That's the part which develops (in the male foetus) into a penis. It's got the same nerve endings, which is why it's so maybe your idiot boyfriend is smarter than he realizes...

I just logged in to write exactly the same thing.

Well then I leaned something new today

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ItsKennyBaby 9

Actually it sounds like the boyfriend was just really stupid

You'd be surprised how little some males know about basic female anatomy.

I know a girl who didn't even know where her own ******** was (she was 18)

An episode of "Sex and the City" made a few girls break out the hand mirror and look right then and there!

jem970 19


48 - I believe that's also in Fried Green Tomatoes

Hmmm. Might be.(: all I truly remember about that movie is wanting to rear end those bitches that try and steal my parking spot! Lol

Haha! I thought that sounded familiar but I've never seen sex and the city.

Well sorry about that. Where I live the ten year olds can give an unnervingly accurate description of the female anatomy. I'm not saying that you have to know how to use it, but if you don't know it exists that might be cause for concern.

nurchok 15

#36, did you show her?

@22 I am more surprised about OP's country's school system. In here the first anatomy thingies are taught at 5th grade (11-12y old)... and on 7th or was it 8th grade they go into bit more details... and actually teach how to put on a condom (on a banana).

159 - Nope, I'm also from Australia and we definitely had sex ed from grade 5 and onwards. The OP's ex boyfriend is actually just an idiot.

See, I'm 29, and I wouldn't be able to put a conform on a banana without giggling. That's just mean.

Condom. Damn morning eyes

When I was 13, my teacher asked who wanted to do that. Then a mean girl pointed to me and said: "Sylvasa wants to!" The teacher then made me do so in front of the whole class. I failed, didn't hold the resevoir...

kewpiesuicide 29

What? You have to hold the reservoir? Thank God I'm a lesbian...

Why would a child younger than 10 have an FML, let alone post something like this?

toalysium 15

It's ok, condoms do conform to the shape.

Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does

challan 19

I've seen some big chacha's in ****, but dang girl, that's some national geographic stuff in your panties.

erockinthesuburb 17

Lol @ chachas. Let's all quote funny names for vaginas!

My mother calls it a fandango

I once had a foreign student in one of my high school classes who pronounced it as "the fageena".

jem970 19

My mother and grandmothers always called it a rosebud.

I like Elliott's name for it from Scrubs, "bajingo".

"Fandango"? Your mom must be a "Queens" fan. "Galileo, galileo Galileo figaro" :P

olpally 32

Snatch! :) giggity ;) lol

challan 19

I love bajingo... May steal that. However snatch? My punani is a tasty snack not a nasty snatch.

olpally 32

LMFAO!^^ oh my gosh...

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

challan 19

Thunderbolts of lightning, her snatch is very, very frightening

Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening ME!

olpally 32

Bohemian rhapsody. Snatch style. Lol. Epic thread.

So you think if I touch it, it'll spit in my eye?

I call it moungie. I've heard it called a money box before lol

It's a tiny penis Anyone can see It's a tiny penis, It's a tiny penis to me

a friend of mine called it her underground.

peanutfoo 19

My friend calls it little china:)

Apparently a slang word for it in Spanish is Toto. Made for interesting times when one of the ESL classes at my school watched Wizard of Oz...

My grandmother calls it 'Jim Jim.' Awkward now that my aunt's boyfriend's name is Jim...

hotPinklipstick 24

I prefer to say vajayjay. My husband calls it my downstairs mixer, I never quite understood that though. Lol

Cuban family so it's always been toto, bollo, chocha, or papaya

I say "vagenie" sometimes, like a genie in a bottle. If you rub it, it grants wishes.

princess09 3

My family calls it "peacha" because according to them, it resembles a fuzzy peach.

nurchok 15

I like to call it "the girl's downstairs"

Some British terms for the female front bottom: Fanny (which is why American tourists talking about fanny packs leads to sniggering), muff, clunge, vag, bearded axe wound, clam

This is the best thread ever.

Wizardo 33

We call it the 'growler' or the 'beaver' or if its really hairy 'the bushy, Marxist, feminist ******', there's also the axe wound, pink taco, meat glove...

You are forgetting the ever classy meat wallet and cum dumpster

kewpiesuicide 29

I thought it was called a pitterputt until I took sex ed. Thanks mom.. My girlfriends mom calls it a bug :/

Does it cum? Where's it go? Will you let me know?

WolfGirlRin 12

My family has always called it "chichi." Imagine how much I giggled when I first watched Dragon Ball.. I've also heard it being called a panooch. My friends mom calls it a cookie.. Thank god I'm a lesbian or I don't think I'd be able to eat cookies again.

We call it cooss cooss in my family, or coo coo for short.

kriz_allizwell 6

Love button :)

ardencred 7

Me gusta reggae Me gusta punk rock Pero la cosa que me gusta más es panochita

cjwayy 22

I call mine my pikachu.

Idiots like him cause me to want to tear each of my hairs out individually and then jump into an active volcano because of the condition of the human race.

You uh... Might wanna see a therapist about that..

I'd rather just throw him in the volcano.

Dusty_Busters 15

Daaaaaaamn! Take it easy

nurchok 15

#11, or "the rapist"

Was there a particular point in the courtship where he said "Are you, or are you not, a hermaphrodite?" If not, I say that you and your downstairs mix-up are totally in the clear!

imtooshy 18

Be happy, be very happy as he obviously has no clue about the female anatomy.

oh god... the stupidity is painful..

nattynatters 14

You're better off without an inexperienced, paranoid troll.

technically, isn't it ?!

Yes. If a Y chromosome was present it would have developed into a penis, but since there isn't girls have clits. This is the typical situation anyway since there is more chromosomal combinations than XX and XY. It still doesn't justify OP's ex calling her a hermaphrodite though.

jem970 19

Not necessarily. The right amount of hormones introduced during that stage of development could result in female anatomy instead of male. The XY and XX chromosomes does not always dictate the gender of a baby. There are men who are walking around with XX chromosomes just as there are women with XY.

#13 from a technical point of view yes but then all females are hermaphrodites and his only choice would be to be bi or gay

Yeah 51 I did neglect that when typing my comment, thank you for adding that. The situation I was talking about was the more typical situation when the chromosomes match up to some extent, but yeah intersex people are not an uncommon thing.

adding to what #28 said ...apparently the ******** is 8-11 inches inwards when not stimulated and gets erect and stretches even more when stimulated

CharresBarkrey 15

114 - Someone told you that and you actually believed it? There are internal structures directly behind the female clit, there is NO WAY it could be 8 inches long. That is literally the most outrageous thing I've ever heard.

Dusty_Busters 15

Lol yea true

#130 if that's the most outrageous thing you've ever read then you better get off the internet. this is not the place for you ;p

*goes to google*

kitkatmiaow 21

Actually #130, it's does extend back... The organ itself stretches round both sides and round the back of the uterus. When stimulated it tightens. It is a fairly recent discovery, made using new technologies that allowed for more detailed internal images of inside the human body ...

kewpiesuicide 29

I've seen this 3 inch long clit, of course they were on testosterone

Yea. I thought that too.