Kids: Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures...

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 510

You deserved it 58 133

Kids

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Good kid

Final words

By Anonymous - 02/07/2012 15:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 765

You deserved it 14 235

By Chris75 - 01/09/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 527

You deserved it 3 842

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 05:22 - United States - Tucson

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 956

You deserved it 3 524

Tyranny

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 22:01 - Indonesia - Balikpapan

Today, I got called "useless" by my mother for not doing what she wants me to do. She also said that I've accomplished nothing, and that I can’t and never will. It’s barely 10 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 122

By Bob - 22/11/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 511

You deserved it 8 439

Kids will be kids

By bad influence - 29/03/2021 15:30 - United States

Today, I've been getting terrible backlash from the neighbors after I forbade my kids from hanging out with one of the neighborhood kids. They think I dislike her because she’s trans. The truth is she’s rude, disrespectful, has been in several fights and had run ins with the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 65

By crazymirrors - 28/07/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 6 266

By RaveCharlie - 18/04/2013 22:47 - United States

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 473

You deserved it 7 126

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 02:39 - United States - Baraboo

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 528

You deserved it 5 513

By ripfluffy - 28/09/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 525

You deserved it 9 997

By Gassy and sassy - 07/12/2014 06:15 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 901

You deserved it 6 752

By nehadrihan - 21/03/2014 03:04 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 3 368

By josh - 19/09/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 15 260

By BondingTime - 17/03/2014 09:51 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 4 106

By -_- - 22/04/2015 15:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 436

You deserved it 2 721

By harshdoobie - 18/01/2012 15:18 - Canada

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 087

You deserved it 3 323

Territorial pissings

By Ribonuke211 - 12/08/2020 02:02

Today, I was menaced by a shirtless crackhead with an aluminum bat for, "parking in the wrong parking lot" - not parking spot, parking LOT - while delivering pizza to one of many nearby apartment buildings. I'm not allowed to carry a weapon to defend myself, unless I wanna shell out $75 for a Mag flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 100

Supportive

By Schmolly - 13/10/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 5 488

By southernpride93 - 18/11/2011 15:26 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 308

You deserved it 4 170

It's all fun and games, until…

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 20:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I have to give some serious thought to hair extensions. Not for myself, though. My horse let her canine friend rip her tail hairs out during play, and now she has no defense against the bugs. Know any hairdressers who make house calls to horses? FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 74

By nick - 22/03/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 195

You deserved it 13 259

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 00:01

Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 315

By Rush Snake - 05/01/2009 03:57 - France

Today, I tried to play with my Wii using the TV remote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 141

You deserved it 31 514

By Weedle - 04/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 1 801

By ilovemypup - 31/10/2016 11:20

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 834

You deserved it 761

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 475

You deserved it 3 603

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 117

You deserved it 4 974

Top brass

By Lipstick lez - 15/05/2021 11:02

Today, my boss told me to kick out of the hotel anyone who was clearly a prostitute trolling for men. I spotted a woman in a miniskirt approaching a guy in the bar, so I told her politely to leave. Despite the skirt, turns out she's the hotel manager and the man was her fiancé. I got fired so hard and fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 757

By frgn8r - 31/05/2010 11:59 - Australia

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 127

You deserved it 35 887

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 924

You deserved it 2 768

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 600

You deserved it 5 954

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 013

You deserved it 6 110

I hate the be the bearer of bad news…

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 23:01

Today, I texted my sister to ask her if she was OK after finding out that one of her oldest friends had died. She didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 74

By fjsinedniend - 28/10/2015 01:52 - United States - Missoula

Today, I was having a conversation with a new friend when she remembered she needed to grab something from her car. I don't know where she parked, but it's been two and a half hours and she's still gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 506

You deserved it 2 230

By KKimrae_ness - 28/05/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 440

You deserved it 47 208

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 5 975

By figures - 16/11/2009 17:42 - United States

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 584

You deserved it 2 379

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 285

By Ringo McDingo - 26/03/2012 04:31 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 188

You deserved it 2 189

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 564

You deserved it 749

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Top comments

uj_fml 4

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

The mom could've explained..

louisianagrrrrl 0

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

well its not really your fault, the mom didnt tell you, who isnt gonna naturally assume that a little kid is making faces when they cross their eyes?

uj_fml 4

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

The mom could've explained..

TheLefty 1

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Thursday 19 January 2012 6:42

Seriously, how the hell were you supposed to know??

hannah341 10

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Sunday 24 November 2013 0:14

I agree if you were not informed by her mother how should you know it was natural. Unless she took of glasses which are usually given to those who suffer this (ie my grandpa), FYL

louisianagrrrrl 0

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

well its not really your fault, the mom didnt tell you, who isnt gonna naturally assume that a little kid is making faces when they cross their eyes?

trevor51590 0

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:56

I dont see that as an FML...more like fuck that mom.

gummybear1234 0

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Tuesday 25 January 2011 13:48

-like-

roobin302 0

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Thursday 8 September 2011 10:52

agree!

Chaith 16

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:57

I was expecting this FML to take a different direction after the first 20 words.

iampunk 0

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Monday 1 November 2010 4:31

lmao. me too.

jake_fml 0

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Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:57

fifth!

ilovewine 0

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Wednesday 8 April 2009 0:05

why say it three times... i would have only said it once or twice and then go on with the photos.

sweetiepie6090 0

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Wednesday 8 April 2009 0:06

awkwardddd

ddrluna 2

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Wednesday 8 April 2009 0:07

That seems like kind of a bitchy thing of her to do. The least she could have done was explained to you after the first time you said it.

moosey1234 0

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Wednesday 8 April 2009 0:07

ouch why didn't they tell u??? thts weird. . .feel bad for the kid...

Ellery_fml 0

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Wednesday 8 April 2009 0:08

The mom should have explained.

xixifwadi 0

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Sunday 25 September 2011 1:35

How many times do you think the mom has to explain that something is wrong about her child? After a while it starts to get to you. Imagine the moms pain and the kids. It sucks to be noticabley different when you arnt even trying.

Peachy2392 26

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Friday 11 April 2014 1:06

I get your point, however, in a situation like this it would have been beneficial if the mom had said something. She could have called ahead so it wouldn't embarrass her daughter or spoken privately to the photographer that day. I don't think the mother handled this situation very well.