By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 461
You deserved it 4 862

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garage_fml 18

I mean, yeah, it does suck to be dumped, but if he's really asexual there's not much you can do. Sorry, OP.

Being asexual doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want to be in a romantic relationship. It just means that you have no desire to ever have sex. Plenty of asexuals go on to have healthy sexless romantic relationships. Unless he is aromantic as well (he has no desire to have romantic relationships) or he felt that a sexless relationship would be unfair to you it kinda sounds like he was just looking for an excuse

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Why is 31 getting down voted? They're right, being asexual isn't OP's boyfriends choice, he just is like that.

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@46, Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure asexual is used to describe a person who isn't interested in a (sexual) relationship.

a·sex·u·al, adj. 1. without sexual feelings or associations. 2. BIOLOGY, (of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes. Don't be a moron, #46. And yes, I mean "moron" in the sense of a stupid person, not whatever other definitions it may or may not have.

It's "an" asshole

48 no asexual means being able to reproduce without sex I mean come on it's middle school science

Have you people never even stopped to consider that a word might have more than one definition? Yes, asexual means that you can reproduce by yourself. However, it ALSO can mean that a person does not develop sexual attractions towards people. It's an ambiguous term.

tacopandaroo 12

There's also a possibility that he may be aromantic as well.

I am with you 46.

Gosh I didn't realize how dumb people can be! The word has to freaking meanings!! I'm going to go read to calm myself down. #1, 46, 59, and 76. I suggest you do the same, but with a dictionary.

Being able to have sex without a partner: Asexual reproduction Not being affectionately attracted to someone else: Asexual THERE. Some of you were talking about asexual reproduction. It's okay, I once made that mistake myself. Except I wasn't rude about it...

#49, u sound like a bully which is not good! Despite the fact that #46 is being a moron indeed

incoherentrmblr 21

At least now he can go f**k himself...

As dumb as not being able to spell 'two' correctly...

wow, you really scrolled through all that^^^ just to see my comment!?! I'm honored!

jazzy_123 20

lgbtQ? I'm sorry, I'm not all into the lgbt stuff as much as others that I know (not that I don't support them!) but there's a Q now?! anyway, no it does not mean he's gay. It means he doesn't want sex. My friend's bf is like that and he cuddles the fuck out of her but thats it.

There's also the possibility that he made it up as an excuse to dump her. The way she worded it made it sound that way to me.

the scientific definition of asexual is being able to reproduce by yourself. there may be some new social definition, but as far as I know it's usually used to describe organisms like starfish and cells that reproduce by simply splitting themselves apart.

Guys. Asexual just means No sex. Like atheist means no God. The prefix "a" means no, none, without. Asexual reproduction means.reproduction without sex. An asexual person is someone who had no interest in sex. For example, Sheldon cooper. Poor OP is Amy.

140 - you dense? it was already explained it has another official meaning..

Wow, you guys get so mad at people who are right. The definition in which asexuality is not being sexually attracted to anyone only means that an asexual humana has mental or hormonal disorders and is unable to feel attracted to anything. OP's ex boyfriend should see a doctor.

Besides, the only "actual" definitions for social asexuality are just Wikipedia definitions, which means they are user contributed. Asexuality is only officially recognized by it's biological meaning.

No shit, Sherlock.

What middle school did YOU go to?!?!?

#46 -That's only the scientific definition.

Actually asexuals can be affectionate, I'm asexual and very affectionate and romantically attracted to women.

Well looks like you got off easy. Wouldn't wanna date a guy like that anyways

Wow, you're dense >_

Why would you want to date a guy who isn't attracted to you? Its better he left sooner rather than faking the relationship

almightyteapot 8

You clearly don't know what asexuality is.

stellamahone 4

I agree good riddans. who needs a man that isn't into sex? Sex is required. my bf and I go 4-6 days weekly.1-2 times a day.

Ignore this! I misunderstood something so I editted this comment to look like (less) of an idiot

Actually, I don't think you know what asexuality is. You're probably thinking of asexuality as the ability to reproduce by oneself, but you fail to realize that it has another definition. Asexuality can also mean the inability of developing sexual attractions. If this is the case, don't patronize other people if you don't know the exact details yourself.

Forget about asexual reproduction for a minute. Asexuals don't feel sexual attraction, but it doesn't mean you can't be attracted to your partner. You can be attracted to them romantically, or queer-platonicaly. Also, an asexual can be partners with a sexual person. It CAN work out. When someone finds out that they are asexual, its best to talk with their partner before making any big decisions about the relationship.

Obviously they're not attracted to them sexually. Not good for a long term relationship. Idk why everyone thinks I mean self-reproducing... That doesn't really make sense.

I'm in a long term relationship and identify as a grey-romantic asexual. I can have sex, and I think my partner is the most gorgeous thing on earth but actually getting to the point of sex takes a lot longer and it has to be planned.

Asexual people can be in romantic relationships with sexual people, it just requires effort and communication.

garage_fml 18

I mean, yeah, it does suck to be dumped, but if he's really asexual there's not much you can do. Sorry, OP.

Could've turned out worse. Could be Sheldon's girlfriend Amy! Never ending frustration is not pleasant, you'll find someone compatible with your wants.

Only real problem is if he's not really. Either just using it as an excuse or OP happened to make him think that. Neither option is all that great.....

you can be asexual and still be in a relationship if he's a romantic it's a different story

Shit this happens to me all the time

Except that it will be horrible in most cases. Sex is a big part of my relationships. I would not be able to build one only on romance or something. That would make me incredibly unhappy.

I feel like he just made it all up so he could go with someone else

Honestly I think it's a good thing that your not with that asshole anymore. You deserve better OP!

Would you call him an "asshole" if he'd realized he was homosexual? People are who they are, even if he could've been more tactful about it.

He's not homosexual; he's asexual. He's an asshole not because he doesn't want to have sex or has no interest in it, but because he dumped her for only that reason. Asexual people can be in relationships.

I admit I shouldn't have called him an asshole, but I still do believe it was kind of selfish to dump OP on the spot. I did not mean he was selfish for being asexual, because that is a choice of lifestyle and I can respect it.

Just to set the record straight, being asexual isn't a lifestyle choice, it's a sexuality - exactly like how you don't choose to be heterosexual or homosexual.

He might also be aromatic. It is always very possible that he assumed she would want a relationship with someone sexual or that he needed room to figure out what this means for him moving forward.

Ajkrumen 18

Dick.

I thought aromatic meant, like.... Scented lol

asexual... lol..never saw people convert from hetero to asexual....

Rawrshi 25

It never says anything about their sexuality before realizing they're asexual? Never said they were hetero at all. And you don't really "convert" to another sexuality. It's not like religion.

You can be heterosexual and asexual and you can be homosexual and asexual. You may want to Google what asexuality is before you make comments like that. By the way, your sexuality is not a choice. Do you just wake up every morning and decide what sexuality you want to be that day? I know that I don't. I believe that everyone is born the way that they are.

It's not a conversion, it's a realization of your true sexuality. Most people don't even know that they are a certain sexuality until they learn about other people who are that sexuality.

What's with all these people claiming to be asexual. I'm proud to be a sexual individual, withy he right person!

Sexuality is a spectrum. There are bisexuals, pansexuals, heterosexuals, homosexuals, asexuals, and just about everything in between. Some asexuals are happily married, but their marriage is a compromise that they have to figure out with their particular partner.

While I agree with the content of your statement,I was saying I enjoy being sexually active, and a lot of the fmls lately that have been about this. Meh to each their own.

Let him be asexual! I don't give a shot if you're asexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual. If he decided that he's asexual, let him be!

XBurytheCastleX 25

Would you rather be with someone that is never interested in sex? Sorry but it's better off this way.

It probably would have been best if they could have at least talked about it. Sexuals and Asexuals can be partners. Relationships are usually much more than just sex. If its just about sex, then there would be no point to have that kind of relationship with an asexual. But if the relationship also includes love, caring, loyalty, stuff like that, then breaking up over one missing thing without even talking about it would be unfair to the partner who had no idea what was going on.

Still not a relationship that would be "pleasing" to the sexual partner though.

That's called being married.

You guys have no idea how big of an influence sex has on a relationship. It is equally important as all the other aspects. Are you all virgins or something?

XBurytheCastleX 25

Idk about them but yep.

so was he just sitting with you and was like, "you know what? I don't like sex anymore. let's break up"

it happen, sorry that it did but if he truly is asexual then you should just let him go.

If OP liked him for more than just sex, its not that simple. There could have been other important parts of their relationship, like love and loyalty. Maybe he's aromantic too, but if not, they could have still had a relationship.

Tell him to go screw himself. Oh wait...

actually, that would be correct. asexual means you're not sexually attracted toothed people, which is sexual appeal; different than sexual drive, which is basically being horny.

SarahSehhati 40

He is about the only one on here that knows what asexual means....

Wait it doesn't mean he can reproduce without another's help?! Thanks Godzilla for leading me wrong.

I'm asexual, and yeah I would compromise in a relationship with a sexual woman however I try t date other asexuals as hard as they are to find.