Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
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Top comments
Arenick 0
Im guessing your daughter never came to one of these speakings right?
dspadres 0
I didn't know Sarah Palin visited FML! Awesome.
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Comments (270)
F00tball_Playa 0
FYDL (**** your daughters life)
totes_my_goats 0
The fact that the daughter is 14 and pregnant is one thing, but the fact that people are saying Abstinence and Celibacy are the same thing is completely ridiculous. How could you possibly compare the principle of not having sex and to a Pokemon?!?! Come on how stupid do you have to be? Trust me, I'm a Scientist.
Jim9349 10
why do I have the feeling your about to get fired?
TachycardicIVU 0
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Have you never heard of celibacy? Really? And you say you're a scientist? Go look it up. It's a real word. See, the Pokemon you're thinking of is CELEBI. Its name is possibly derived from celibacy, but not entirely. It's not an abstaining Pokemon. :| Abstinence: any self-restraint, self-denial, or forbearance Celibacy: abstention from sexual relations. See? Celibacy even uses abstinence, or a variety of it, in the definition. Go do your research before you post something like Pokemon on a post like this because you're jumping to conclusions. A 'scientist' like you should know how to do that, ne? Edit: Hold up, your profile says you're only 16. Keep your mind out of FML and in Platinum next time, kaay? Before you say something REALLY stupid.
shadowsx1101 0
I know its random and if it doesnt do it, this was a reply to 196: WTF who said anything about Pokémon???
LaUruguaya 11
YDI for raising a ****. Maybe you should have been paying attention to your own daughter instead of teaching other peoples kids. Sorry, but there's no excuse for teen pregnancy. You suck as a parent.
fcukb0o 0
tell her shes a fucken **** for me and everyone else. =) get someone to kick her in the stomach or do it yourself. thanks and good day.
IMB916 0
YDI for promoting celibacy
frozen_tundra 0
This is a FAIL if it's real or fake. If it's real, then the OP obviously didn't do a great job promoting safe sex. If it's fake, it's a FAIL because the OP made the mistake of confusing celibacy with abstinence. (And if it's real, that's another FAIL, and might explain why they FAILed at parenting)
Monado 0
*Sings* Some people forgot about Adoption.
FuzzyWalnuts 0
Abort
Hich17 0
pimpin88 - you win, buddy.