By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 03:16 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 144
You deserved it 2 163

Same thing different taste

Top comments

how special and how old is she? if she can't take care of herself then that's not a good thing.


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A07 48

Can you please explain to me how it depends on the disorder?

I guess that if she has a physical disablity a pregnancy could be dangerous? If it's a mental disability, I guess the parents would have to help a lot raising the child, which can be difficult too.. But I don't know what #1 means either

NehNehPwn 20

Strong Down's syndrome compared to blindness. It's possible to raise a child with blindness, which is still a disability, however it would be very difficult for a person with heavy Down's to take care of a child.

XBurytheCastleX 25

With some disorders she won't be able to care for it, like autism, downsyndrome, etc. but then there are just learning disabilities that can have people thrown into the special needs class.

like, it could be major or minor. some people have major asbergers who need major help or someone has minor asbergers who can have a normal life.

I think what #1 means is that if its a serious disorder, she could have been raped. That's why the comment said "it depends on the disorder," before saying congratulations.

Dunno why you're getting thumbed down, 27. I also don't know why people are more concerned with the impending baby than they are with the fact that the girl was most likely raped :/ The baby will be fine. Her parents will more than likely take over its care. I'm more concerned with how she got pregnant, and whether it was consensual or not.

#37, the baby may not be fine. But my first guess was also the daughter could have been unwilling in this, as it may not have been such an FML if they were willing. Also, is OP the girl's partner or carer?

ChopSuey444 20

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I think the how of the matter is just as important as the fact she is. If she is handicapped enough that she is unable to consent, or if the sperm donor is in a position of power or authority, it's very important to find out who did it so it doesn't happen again to someone else.

I'm pretty sure whether your daughter got raped or not is very important, disabled or not

Disabled children and disabled people in general have very high assault and rape rates. The fact that the person had to inform the girl's parents also suggests the girl is very young, and likely not able to consent (which is why the girl isn't communicating it to her own parents). Disgusting as it is, this is why a large number of severely disabled children are forcibly sterilized by their parents - to avoid a situation like this. The children will still be raped and abused, which is horrible, but there won't be the added trauma of having to experience a potentially very dangerous pregnancy and birth.

Well, 48, aren't you a shining example of a pro life republican who could give a s--- for people who have been born just as long as they keep pushing out babies, no matter their circumstances.

Reading this thread just made me really sad. All I wanted to see was jokes about disabled people, but NOOOO, that's too much to ask, and now I feel bad. **** you guys for making me feel things that aren't happiness, turned on, or a mix of both. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

God dammit, now I'm thinking about the handicapped little sister in Gummo who gets pimped out by her older brother. DO YOU SEE WHAT PATH YOU'VE SENT ME DOWN? I'm going to spiral into madness at this rate!

I'm not even trying, I'm legitimately angry. Besides, your opinion is irrelevant.

outfielder55 17

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#100, Please tell that to a friend of mine who has a mild case of down syndrome and has a beautiful baby girl. Women with down syndrome can have kids. Men with down syndrome can, but it is rare.

how the .... #100. where are you getting this information from?

Why is everyone assuming. Its not impossible for this child/adult to have sex with someone with the same disorder or not. I taught kids with different disabilities all in one class and it was chaos trying to keep the boys and girls apart. on many occasions I've caught them with their tongues down each others throat. Its the parents' responsibility to give birth control to the girls because sadly a lot of them do go home and have no one their to stop there advances. this is a sad situation but it's not impossible for this girl to take care of her child with the help of her parents or caregiver if that's the route that is chosen.

I know a lot of Down syndrome adults able to care for kids and have them. There was actually a court case to where the parents of their DS Kid was trying to get the baby adopted out once born even though the DS girl did not want that and wanted to raise the kid, with her boyfriend who also had DS the court ruled in favor of the DS girl because she was already taking classes to know more about babies and the care of them, her and her boyfriend actually had a apartment that they were moving into (without her parents knowledge) and her boyfriend had a job and she was looking. She proved she was capable of it. They proved the boyfriend is capable of it. They both wanted the kid and were both consenting adults. The parents were furious and I think ended up cutting her off completely

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A07 48

Because everyone has "special needs"? Sorry it doesn't work that way.

XBurytheCastleX 25

Sorry about the terrible typing! But it was just a joke as everybody has that special someone. Okay sorry everyone!

Because some one with a severe mental disability is capable of consent and a positive pregnancy test on a disabled teen is heaps funny #funny #stoopidfunny #realisingmakingfunofapossiblerapesituationisntfunny #luvinlifewithoutthinkingthingsthrough

Cocoapelli 23

Everyone that down voted #2's comment needs to have mandatory tutoring by Albus Dumbledore. "After all, [ZoeeeGuyss] did great things - terrible, yes, but great." This comment was horribly hilarious, but mostly hilarious!

doctor__who 19

#76 that was Ollivander I believe.

haha I'll be the only person with a sense of humor here and laugh

#49 someone with a severe mental disability shouldn't be told they can't have sex. It all comes down to what type of person they are.

Denny1988 19

you are assuming this person was consenting, maybe that weren't aware of what was happening, in that case its rape, what if it was one of the caretakers

xaker777_fml 10

Omg I love this!! Special needs with someone special hahaha!!!!

Actually those with disabilities are screened for ability to consent, usually by a psychiatrist, psychologist, or behavior specialist. Not everyone can consent to sex, generally you have to have an IQ of 55 or below, and have a mental capacity of less than 9 years old. So yes, you can tell them they can't have sex... And it becomes your responsibility to make sure they don't. I would know- I supervise a group home for DD adults...

Cocoapelli 23

Totally was Ollivander. Time to re-read the entire series. Yay!

I thought this was bloody hilarious! Humour and disrespect are totally different things and we need to be able to have a sense of humour to keep us going. Aside from love and all that gooey stuff, humour is the only thing that can make a bad situation better. The difference between humour and disrespect is tact.

I don't even have a witty response for this... The only thing that went through my mind was "what.. The.. ****...?"

People with mental retardation issues tend to be more sexual in nature, if she's living with a group of other "special needs" then being pregnant was one of the most predictable things to happen to her.

71. That's a really huge generalization to make, especially being as "special needs" encompasses everything from severe mental retardation to ADHD to purely physical limitations. We don't know where on that spectrum this girl is. She could be a permanent resident in a group home or she could be a kid in high school who needs extra help in English because she has dyslexia.

71 isn't completely wrong. I know some people who work in group homes for people with special needs, and they have to be careful to keep them apart and have caught some of them trying to have sex with each other. I'm not saying that everyone in the group home is really horny or anything, I'm just saying it does happen. So it's quite possible that it was consensual sex (they chose to do it, even if they didn't necessarily know what they were doing), not rape. They sometimes don't really know what they're doing, it's more like discovery of sex and body parts, etc, similar to how young kids want to show each other their private parts and don't really know why.

If she didn't understand what was happening, that IS rape. A child wouldn't understand what's happening and could say yes still, are you saying they wouldn't be raped still?

Queen_of_Night 20

Agreed 104. I had friends who worked at a home for special needs adults. The horror stories that they have told me. *shudder* Just depended on the resident but they all had their very open method of masturbation. One friend said one of her residents was really good until he'd get in in his head to get all "rapey" with one of the other residents.

130, no sorry. I'm talking about if there are two mentally challenged kids/adults doing it together, experimenting together, without the complete knowledge of what sex is or how to do it. I'm not talking about one person who is not mentally challenged having sex with a mentally challenged person, that is definitely rape. I'm talking about 2 people at the same mentally challenged level having sex. They don't necessarily understand what or why they're doing it, but are both willing. They're basically exploring their sexuality because they still have hormones and just know it feels good. I guess technically you could say they raped each other, but that doesn't make sense.

Ah I see, I apologize then. I hope it was something like that or her condition isn't bad enough so she could consent. I'm really hoping for a follow up on this one.

how special and how old is she? if she can't take care of herself then that's not a good thing.

normally special needs can't take care of themselves. Like I said, normally. not always

Actually that's a common misconception (this wasn't something I knew until I started working in this field). People generally exclude tons of disorders that are considered "special needs." There are actually more special needs people that can take care of themselves than there are ones that can't. You would honestly be surprised. We can't really assume that OP is talking about a severe special needs, but then again we can't assume OP isn't either.

Most people with special needs can take care of themselves, though they may benefit from a bit of extra support or understanding. You're thinking about those that are SEVERELY disabled.

Exactly. One of my friends is labeled as 'special needs' because she has dyslexia and it's hard for her. But my best friend has an extremely autistic older sister who she's always glad to help care for, even if she can't talk. Special needs is a huge label.

how do you even go about that? there is no good way to bring that up. especially with all the questions this scenario raises. for instance, did someone take advantage of her?

ironik69 31

Exactly what I was thinking. My first thought was, was she raped.

Same way a police officer tells someone that their loved one has been hospitalized, jailed, or killed: uncomfortably.

depending on how special she is, this could go very bad. have fun in prison haha

Why would OP go to prison? Pretty sure OP didn't have sex with her.

Reread the FML please, OP didn't have sex with the girl.

actually, it doesn't state anywhere in the fml who had sex with the girl. I can see why 13 could think that it was the op. more likely it was somebody else, but it isn't specified

Pooks7 12

The op is most likely a doctor or gyno. They're not the ones going to jail.

Or a teacher or educational assistant