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The daughter shouldn't be shaming people of their bodies no matter what size they are. When I was younger I was bullied for being "bigger", despite being a completely healthy weight, and I let their words get in my head which eventually caused me to develop anorexia. Then people teased me for "looking anorexic" and told me to put some meat on my bones. So no wonder the bitch got a black eye. Props to the chick who gave her it.
Your daughter is a bully. Sit down and have a stern talk with her. She needs to learn some respect. Sorry that she got a black eye, but she deserved it for being like that.
It's just as offending to call someone too skinny as it is to call them fat. Either way, your saying they don't look good and its mean. She needs to learn to accept everyone no matter what they look like. And if this girl was anorexic, that means she's unhappy with her appearance so why would anyone want to degrade her more? I'm glad she got punched.
agreed. OPs daughter definitely deserved it. OP needs to be more strict with this stuff. some people are very sensitive to remarks like that, and before you know it someone will take their life. it's pretty extreme but I could still happen. that person could possibly have an eating disorder.
Anorexia isn't a joke or something to take lightly. You don't jut run around accusing people of having a sickness. Teach your daughter how to be respectful and not a straight up insensitive and inconsiderate asshole. The person above me is right - some people really do suffer from these things and struggle with it. They don't need someone like your daughter making jokes and making themselves feel worse.
I'm also pretty slim, and I weigh about 95 pounds. if you asked anyone I'm relatively close to, they'd know I'm constantly trying to gain weight. I eat like a pig. maybe the people she bullies can't help it. the comments hurt. I get called chicken legs all the time. not only does it hurt, but it's rather annoying also.
Agreed. Insulting based on anyone's physical appearance is wrong. My wife is 96 lbs even after 2 kids and EATS whatever she wants. She's not anorexic or purposely thin. But plenty of girls make hateful jealous comments to her. It's weak and immature. This girl's daughter learned a tough lesson. A couple more black eyes and maybe she'll learn to keep her mouth shut.
25- same here. I'm 5'7" and barely 100 pounds. I've ALWAYS had people ask/ tease/ make jokes about my weight and whether I'm anorexic. It started in third grade, and all through school I would wear loose clothes, long sleeves, and extra layers so people couldn't see how skinny I was. Even in gym class I wore pants and long sleeves rather than shorts and tshirts because they would make fun of my skinny arms and say my knees stuck out. It was horrible. I'm so sick of people thinking its okay to judge me on my weight and assume I have an eating disorder. 1) It's none of your damn business, 2) eating disorders are serious, don't joke about it just because someone is thin, and 3) if I was anorexic, all you assholes would just be making it worse!
Your daughter sounds like a bitch. FML for you, but your daughter deserves it.
Actually, I feel as if the mother kind of does deserve it as well. I think as soon as her daughter first mentioned it to someone she should have sat down with her daughter and explained to her than thin isn't always anorexic, and degrading people is horrible. I say YDI to both of them all the way.
I don't think it's fair to automatically blame the parents as well. It's likely that OP has already tried to talk to his daughter about this, but it's not always easy to change people's mindset just like that- especially when it's the mindset of a stubborn teenage girl.
#157 Do you not understand the irony of using corporal punishment to teach right and wrong, of all things? You only need to do a tiny amount of research on google to see exactly how corporal punishment is a) ineffective and b) just leads to worse problems. Belting someone doesn't instil any sort of moral compass, it just teaches them to hide certain behaviours in front of you to avoid the beating. It can destroy the relationship between parent and child, and it sure as hell won't stop the girl from acting however the hell she decides to when the parents are out of sight. Even if you manage to curb her bad behaviour through violence and fear, the underlying problem is her prejudiced mindset and that's not going to change after a beating. SMH
My god, you're one of "those" people. I don't mind most of the politically correct issues, but this is is one that I do NOT agree with. If you're planning on saying smacking a kid's ass is abusive, stop now because I was a true abuse victim. 3 doctorates later and severe respect for other people to the point of doing multiple missionary trips per year, I can say from experience that there's nothing wrong with using a belt on a child when it's deserved, appropriate and within limitations. "Time Out" may work for 5 year olds, but try putting a 15 year old in a corner for 15 minutes and see what happens. Here's a hint: IT DOESN'T WORK. I would like to addend my previous statement by saying that I do not think OP should be immediately blamed for giving her the black eye unless there truly is more than what's being told about that.
#159 yes, I'm one of 'those' people, people who study psychology and had to write an essay in first year about what the research said about corporal punishment. Even if you may think it's not 'wrong' to belt a child, 1) OP's daughter is no longer a child (if I was 15 and either of my parents tried to hit me I'd hit them back. In fact I did - my mum slapped me once in 9th grade and I slapped her right back. When you've only got a few years to adulthood it's hard to maintain the 'superior' ground when you're hurting someone physically. I'm not going to let anybody put their hands on me, least of all my parents and least of all when I'm freaking taller than them.) 2) whether or not it's wrong doesn't change the fact that the research shows IT DOESN'T WORK, and I can attest to this myself having been hit as a child by my mum - did it change how I behaved? Fuck no. My dad, however, expressed disappointment and ... hurt, almost, whenever I did something wrong, and even though he never hit me that affected me WAY more and I would always feel bad and try to be a better kid for him. I never said hitting a kid is child abuse, not sure from which part of your ass you pulled that out from, I just said that significantly more often than not it's a) ineffective (Especially for teenagers) and b) leads to worse problems. These are not just my opinions, these claims are validated by research and I know because I DID the bloody research, which as I said before if you had just spent ten seconds on google you would have avoided sounding so ignorant. What a shame you didn't. Don't put words in my mouth ever again.
Why on Earth would they automatically assume YOU gave it to her? Sounds like we're missing some important details here...
That's what confuses me as well. If I saw some girl walking around with a black eye I wouldn't think her parents were the ones that gave it to her. That's kind of fucked up for anyone to assume you beat your own child. Like other have said though, teach your damn daughter some respect. She deserved that black eye, and I'm glad that girl gave it to her. Just because someone's skinny, chubby, or even morbidly obese, you have no damn right to say anything about their appearance. We all should treat our own bodies as a temple, but, everyone has a right to live the way they see fit. If you're happy and healthy that's all that should matter.
Putting down skinny girls is the same as putting down thicker girls, honestly. They can feel insecure about their weight too. Your daughter was a bitch to point that out. She deserves it, but you don't. FYL, OP.
I get called anorexic all the time just because I'm naturally thin. But I just happen to have a fast metabolism, and I'm happy with my body. It's so irritating when people use words like "anorexic" so lightly. FYL OP, but your daughter sure as hell deserved it for being so close-minded.
49, I don't understand why you think bullying is some special right of passage everyone needs to go through. You may have been bullied but certain people have more underlying problems outside of the bullying. If bullying is a right of passage, most people who get bullied with too many other problems behind it turn to suicide for their only escape path. I would never wish bullying on any person. Sorry for the paragraph. I hate when people say bullying is ok or necessary.
I suppose it's true at times that being bullied makes you stronger but it's not always the case. I've been bullied throughout most of my life, mainly because I was overweight before puberty, and I think it's mostly made me unnecessarily insecure rather than strong. Bullying is a terrible thing. It makes you fragile and you feel as if you'd break down and cry at a moment's notice. Whenever someone's mean to me I have to fight the urge to cry tbh, even when it's a stranger I'll never encounter afterwards. It should just not be a thing.
65- That really sucks my bestfriend was overweight before puberty too. Now she's in shape & attractive but she's really sensitive about her looks still almost 8 years later. I can get wanting to cry because I was bullied by my dad but me being a guy I wasn't really allowed to. If I started crying he would just lock me in the bathroom where "He didn't have to look at me" until I stopped. Now I never really cry at all.
I am sorry 65, that's absolutely awful. 66, despite the fact that bullying did eventually make me stronger (so I can very much see your argument/opinion) I do not think bullying is ever necessary. It is not worth the long term side effects and self esteem problems most people face for years after. I too can not cry anymore, even if I wanted to. Not because I was told to cry, but because I cried so much between 8-14 from the consistent bullying, abuse, and poverty that I guess I ran out of tears.
A big problem with bullying nowadays is social media. Some people are downright nasty to others for no god damn reason. It's fucking depressing to see how some pathetic low life scum bag can single out some poor kid and push them to the point of suicide. It almost seems like that's what their whole fucking goal was, but when something horrible happens they say "Oh we were just kidding", or some bullshit like that. I'll admit I wasn't a perfect student by any means, I was a bit of a dick, but I never intentionally ripped and pulled on someone else's emotions and insecurities. I was more of a bully to the fuckers who'd pick on a kid weaker and smaller than them. That really pissed me off. There's a point where I believe everyone should stand up for themselves, they do need to learn to do that, but there's no reason for someone to even make them do that in the first place.
OP, fix your daughter and her bully attitude! You're the parent and you know it's going on, stop her!
29- No I'm saying we need bullies to help deal with bigger problems down the road in life. So you might be prepared to deal with the asshat boss, disrespectful neighbor, or even your everyday asshole. Getting kids to not bullies is like getting a bird not to chirp at 3 am when you're trying to sleep. Some people are just meant to be bullies whether it hereditary or upbringing It's human nature.
What about the people who don't just have that one bully, those who instead get bullied all their lives for something they want or can't control. Like me for example, do my bullies get justification for torturing me to near suicide all my life now? Its bad enough rape is getting justification, I don't want you justifying bullying too. Not that you ever justified rape at all.
I'm not justifying them. All bullies are asses & most likely get there due later in life. but Survival of the Fittest applies to humans too. The fact you survived all that is awesome. Think more on helping others like you & not about the bullies because obviously you know there's nothing you can really say to a bully where'd be like "Oh I'm really sorry. Ok I'll stop bullying people"
62- Maybe you weren't left out for being tall or loud but because being around a "crier" is never a good time because you have to be so careful about what you say. Also bullies love people weaker than them. By you crying all the time you probably provided them with an easy target
I can relate 76, I like going to school because I'd rather deal with the hate from students for being different over dealing with my family constantly hating me for being different. I can't handle my home life, so while I'm with my family I don't talk much and I don't share. Its hard hating somewhere you have to be every for years and years.
76- I'm just saying if even your close family says you cry too much maybe you do in fact cry too much. If you can't control it try crying somewhere they can't see/hear you. Or maybe don't let every little thing get to you. Or just cry & find friends that except you for you.
in a way i agree. bullying is something went through. it helps is learn how fight back and to reason and defend ourselves. there is however a difference between thr type of bullying that makes you stronger and the type that drives you to kill yourself and its not just the personilty type of the one being bullied.
Rebecca Sedwick was from my town (lived really close to me) and went to my friend's little sister's school. Everyone in town was horrified, and the culprit had the nerve to say she was kidding. Bullying isn't necessary. I am called anorexic by just about everyone due to me having a fast metabolism. In fifth grade I was diagnosed with depression - I've always been mature for my age (I'm 17 now) but I hated myself and just about gave up. Bullying doesn't help make you accomplish anything - all it leaves you with are emotional scars, and sometimes physical ones too. I never was able to truly build back up my self confidence. Add that on to the fact I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder around that time so I never went to school, fearing the bullying that would ensue as soon as I got back. It took years to recover and even 6 years later I still struggle with self image. Bullying doesn't help you; it destroys you.
144, My story is surprising similar and I can relate to that in every way. I'm sorry for what happened to you and its for reasons like this why I got rather annoyed at what Zimm was saying. Bullying on top of abuse at home lead to my entire being destroyed and ever today (8 years later) my life is still in shambles and I'm struggling to find motivation for college. Bullying and abuse have the worst long term effects and it is never necessary for anything. I may be stronger, but I don't even value my life.
I'm with 144 & 150, I was bullied every single day in school by at least half of my classmates. They made fun of me for being too tall, too quiet, too weird, they called me anorexic and a hooker and a million other things, and now I have to deal with the depression, low self esteem, and extreme anxiety disorders that they all helped cause. I agree that having to deal with some hardship can make you stronger, but that does NOT mean that bullying is at all okay or necessary! And there is a huge difference between one or two kids saying something mean once or twice, and being endlessly, relentlessly bullied by everyone every day. That does not make you stronger, it just destroys you.