By RyanJarmanForPresident - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
Kozzard - Followers
Kozzard - Followed
Kozzard's page visits
Kozzard's FML badges
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
I'm an early bird, but no worm yet
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I'm a rock star
You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
My diary is a collector's item
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
Tell us what happened next
You've commented on an FML that you sent in
You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
Kozzard's favorite FMLs
By Malíya - 04/05/2015 21:02 - United States - Perth Amboy
By Anonymous - 23/04/2015 17:04 - United States - Cherry Hill
By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:18 - United States - Muncie
By littlekellilee - 28/02/2014 14:50 - Canada - Calgary
littlekellilee tells us more.
Hey, I'm the OP! I'm 26, and my parents can be a little protective. I think they're worried that something will happen to me and they won't know who it was that did it. They're actually really amazing people. I chatted with them about it once they calmed down and everything is okay now, though they're still nervous about not knowing him. Thanks for the comments, everyone!