Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
cupcakechick 17
what a bitch! just Ignore her OP, shes just jealous of your beauty, and is pissed she cant get laid
Pleonasm 35
Ah she's just jealous because she literally IS her own birth control. She's so senile she's probably not getting penile anyway.
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Comments (113)
SparkOfJade 18
I'm just impressed someone on the internet managed to use "you're" and "your" correctly in the same sentence.
LittleMagicWolf 7
Goddamn! ...Maybe, hopefully, she meant you ultimately control whether babies occur.. Maybe.. D:
babyblueyes 27
I'd say "least I'm getting some"
daboar 5
maybe what she meant was you are taking control of your birth control
avapaige1234 19
Old people can be so bitchy sometimes. Sorry, OP.
cetlawizard 15
I think she meant exactly what she said...just not how you interpreted it...not as is you're ugly, but as in YOU are in control of your body & by NOT having sex-you are your own birth control.
Omniprism 14
I am always in awe of some people's nerve and lack of respect. I'm sorry she's a bitch. I think she was just trying to make her self feel better. Sides beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Dan_DRC 2
Next time, have them delivered! Dollar Rubber Club
MoreBeef 4
That's kinda rude. But would you like some aloe to go with that BURN!!!!
NodakN8V 25
Well, that escalated quickly.