Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
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Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
cupcakechick 17
what a bitch! just Ignore her OP, shes just jealous of your beauty, and is pissed she cant get laid
Pleonasm 35
Ah she's just jealous because she literally IS her own birth control. She's so senile she's probably not getting penile anyway.
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Comments (113)
unhappyhug 11
Should report her bet she has a boss
gators1995 30
I am scrolling down the random FMLs and this story got moderated twice. So nice that it was published twice!!!
Kc1001 14
Dude, have a sense of humor. that is kind of funny. I'm sure your buying the condoms for two reasons. you and her.
ChuckNorris2 4
I'd demand to speak to her manager.
blackwidowtaco 31
Ouch! Sounds like she's just honery because she's no longer capable of having sex without medical complications.
JustNatalie 8
Some shitty people that work in America (I'm not insulting everyone, just the one's I've read about here)
fantasyworld 37
What's with old people being rude?
turdwrangler 18
Why is everyone assuming she was being rude, sure the way it's portrayed seems rude but she could have meant celibacy not ugly. You are your own birth control, everyone has the choice to have sex (except in extreme cases) and with that choice comes the possibility of a baby.
kashers 11
Me: "Are you talking about yourself instead, by any chance?"