Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
cupcakechick 17
what a bitch! just Ignore her OP, shes just jealous of your beauty, and is pissed she cant get laid
Pleonasm 35
Ah she's just jealous because she literally IS her own birth control. She's so senile she's probably not getting penile anyway.
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Comments (113)
ocampo 6
well someone likes to give their opinions freely
wubu18 6
Some people have a miserable life so they have to make other just the same. Just brush it off OP
jackiemora 18
Where are these bad ass oldies where I live?! LOL
drjohnnyboy 15
Don't listen to her, OP. you're gonna have sex, so obviously she's wrong and/or her vision is failing her
LOVELIVELAUG 4
DONT LISTEN TO HER IM SURE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SWEETIE XOXO BUT REMEMBER TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX ID RATHER HAVE YOU NOT DOING THAT DIRTY STUFF BUT ITS YOUR CHPICE OKAY JUST BE SAFE
Pleonasm 35
Your caps lock seems broken! And your apostophe key! And your moral-judgement switch... I mean it's your opinion that sex is dirty, and you saying you'd rather they not have sex to a total stranger is a bit weird. I mean, you're not their mother, right?
LOVELIVELAUG 4
ITS JUST MY OPINION IM JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT YOU DONT NEE TO PAY ATTENTION TO MY COMMENT IF YOU DONTLIKE IT
davikiin 6
Your caps lock. It's irritating and unnecessary. STOP SHOUTING.
olpally 32
LOUD NOISES!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!?!?!
Axipiter 24
My spleen just erupted reading 15's comment...
empbob 20
1, OP is a guy, 2, OP was buying condoms, so unless OP is really talented at making balloon animals, OP was planning on safe sex.
empbob 20
And on the next page I see someone mentioned making balloon animals, my bad...
buddy51 23
Tell the old bag you use them for making balloon animals for kids birthday parties, OP and then complain to the management about having a judgmental moron working for them.
beyondneptune 9
Tell her she could use her saggy skin as a condom
klovemachine 24
That is gross :-( now I can't get that image out of my head
amy6703 6
You can still get pregnant with the pull out and pray method. Also, lots of diseases passed that way.
kenneth_vidrine 1
do u realize u posted this 2 times in a row
crazytwinsmom 25
Or not have sex. That old generation tends to be on the conservative side.