Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
xxxeelaa 0
everyone who is saying "YDI for smoking" are ignorant. smoking, as most of you SHOULD know, is an addiction, it's not so easy for this person to just call it quits, majority of people can't even do it. and when you say "enjoy your cancer", stfu, you sound like every other person on here. and so what if someone smokes ? what's it to you. it doesn't affect who they are as a person at all. so stop being such assholes, and just read the FML without bitching about it. fyi i don't smoke.
bad_karma89 0
#24: Where I come from, Newports are more expensive than Marlboros and Camels. Hell if I know why. To all you people bashing on smokers: it's a personal choice. I don't see people bashing on stoners when they post about how they lost their weed or something. To all you smokers: enjoy your cancer. Now, I'm going to go out for a smoke break.
mikaela33194 0
I think this smokers v. non smokers battle is only proving that smokers (who are commenting on here) are irritable and get defensive really easily and need a cigarette break before a internet comment page makes them pop a vein and that non smokers who are commenting on here generally don't give a shit about the people who smoke , except that the consequences are your fault and might all be 12.
ragas 0
Lmao, at least its a good one. But yeah, I agree with #3
streetpattern 0
Both my parents smoked, and my mother died of lung cancer. Me, I have never smoked. The demographic/marketing reality is that menthol cigarettes are much more popular among African-American smokers than among white smokers. (I have no idea why.) Hence, some people (like the OP's hobo?) associate smoking menthol with being black.
brismith18 0
this is stupid. menthols are no cheaper than nonmenthols. the only thing that has anything to do with price is which brand of cigarettes you buy...
bad_karma89 0
#77: I smoke menthols, and I'm white. But the saddening truth is that black people are stereotyped as menthol smokers (to be fair, every black smoker I've ever met has smoked menthols...) Does this mean I can be a homie? 8.
Dopehead666 21
Are you ******* kidding me? I smoke Newports 100s... which duh are menthol. And in Oklahoma they are $6.08 at normal stores and $5.50 at Indian Smoke Shops! He is crazy!
Funtertaining11 0
That's pretty ironic, but why smoke in the first place. It's just a 1st class ticket to your grave. You should've said something like, "And this is coming from someone who can't afford one cigarette?" But still, you shouldn't smoke. It's gross, it smells, and I'd probably die because of my asthma. (I've had it since I was about 3.)
buctastic 0
I'm not irritable or defensive. I'm smoking a cig right now. And the nonsmokers do give a shit or they wouldn't sit here and comment. But to make things fair what you're saying is the equivalent of me telling a gay man "enjoy the AIDS you're gonna get since you're gay".