Today, my mom walked out on me, abandoning her 16-year-old and...

By disappointment - 5/6/2018 15:00

Today, my mom walked out on me, abandoning her 16-year-old and taking $100 and a dog, all because I refused to wear women's panties. I would have been perfectly fine wearing them if I weren't a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4121

You deserved it

228

Favorite

Money

Animals

Kids

Assumptions

Get me away from here, I'm dying

You snooze, you lose

By worsethanzombies - 23/11/2009 16:40 - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33998

You deserved it

4850

Favorite

By User - 23/9/2013 17:53 - United States - Romulus

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51852

You deserved it

6654

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/6/2020 23:01

Traditional values

Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML

I agree, your life sucks

1275

You deserved it

151

Favorite

By Yuni - 8/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Mom of the year

Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2329

You deserved it

130

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/8/2015 12:43 - United Kingdom - Bexley

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26505

You deserved it

2417

Favorite

By Bella - 26/10/2018 03:00

Today, I finally managed to kiss the guy of my dreams. We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, and he softly said, "You know I'm dating another girl right now, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

3047

You deserved it

450

Favorite

By spellbound - 19/12/2012 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38462

You deserved it

4074

Favorite

By Physics fail. - 11/11/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finished up my physics project. I had to make some thing out of toothpicks and glue that will keep an egg from breaking when dropped 20 feet. It took me 10 hours to make it, but only took my dad 10 seconds to step on it and break it. It's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35641

You deserved it

4665

Favorite

By Arcanin3Boss - 23/6/2015 06:37 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27264

You deserved it

5918

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:58

Today, while out with my family, I happened to run into "the one who got away." She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3548

You deserved it

7797

Favorite

By Username - 1/5/2011 03:16 - United States

Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43533

You deserved it

4131

Favorite

By nobodyreadsmyemails - 27/10/2009 22:24 - Canada

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8896

You deserved it

43942

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/5/2013 16:01 - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54085

You deserved it

3293

Favorite

By fuglyphotographer - 23/10/2011 18:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30085

You deserved it

4644

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/7/2013 07:10 - Australia - Albert Park

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56613

You deserved it

3912

Favorite

By Th3BaconNinja - 8/6/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44859

You deserved it

5947

Favorite

By Goaway - 14/8/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40564

You deserved it

10743

Favorite

By Mike - 20/12/2017 01:30

Today, I received the Christmas gift I bought for my sister in the mail. I also received a nearly $200 bill for shipping fees, taxes, etc. for a $50 blanket from Canada. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3828

You deserved it

990

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/5/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23611

You deserved it

4796

Favorite

By Softball - 8/7/2015 13:58 - United States - Lansdale

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26110

You deserved it

5954

Favorite

By tired - 1/8/2011 08:07 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31736

You deserved it

3578

Favorite

By Anon - 25/11/2009 01:54 - New Zealand

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37673

You deserved it

1916

Favorite

By crabmunch15 - 9/9/2012 05:38 - United States - Victorville

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23776

You deserved it

10904

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 04:17 - United States - Richardson

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30916

You deserved it

3271

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada - Prince George

Naughty girl

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1827

You deserved it

441

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41692

You deserved it

5767

Favorite

By Daddo - 20/3/2018 14:00 - United States - Elkhart

Call CPS!

Today, picking up my children from school, I overheard some kids saying what a rotten person their dad was, and how they hated him. It was my kids talking to their friends about me! Why? Because I didn't buy them a bag of jelly beans the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4095

You deserved it

398

Favorite

By backseatbusted - 21/5/2013 16:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56636

You deserved it

12932

Favorite

By CrackHouseBaby - 16/10/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

This Is Us

Today, I learned that my parents lied. They didn't meet each other at an acid house rave. They met each other at a crack house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1494

You deserved it

134

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37765

You deserved it

9979

Favorite

By notimpressed - 26/4/2011 19:25 - United Kingdom

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40120

You deserved it

6503

Favorite

By unknown - 24/1/2010 15:27 - France

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35074

You deserved it

4783

Favorite

By toadface - 4/8/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41419

You deserved it

7910

Favorite

By Poolfool - 3/10/2018 13:30

Today, I went to play pool with a couple of friends. I'm not very good at this game. My friend beat me fair and square. Twice. He's blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2646

You deserved it

568

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/2/2016 19:21 - United States - Boise

Today, I now know what it feels like to violently sneeze while a nurse still has a needle in your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21977

You deserved it

1446

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/8/2014 15:43 - India - Mumbai

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48452

You deserved it

4512

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/4/2012 15:22 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27151

You deserved it

2548

Favorite

By Nicked - 25/4/2009 11:50 - Israel

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50891

You deserved it

15739

Favorite

By hellokitty133 - 30/9/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30866

You deserved it

3704

Favorite

By Lolaa123 - 25/9/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31099

You deserved it

3838

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7637072 - Monday 21 May 2018 1:24

Why is your mom trying to get you to wear women's panties? What kind of relationship do you have?

By ChromoTec | 24

#7636707 - Saturday 19 May 2018 22:30

This is the first time I've heard someone FMLing about NOT being trans

COMMENTS

By ChromoTec | 24

#7636707 - Saturday 19 May 2018 22:30

This is the first time I've heard someone FMLing about NOT being trans

SneezyBear | 27

#7643987 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 0:20

What if OP is trans and is a trans man? That might explain the mum's bizarre behaviour (doesn't justify it though)

tounces7 | 26

#7644331 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 17:35

They probably would have specified if they were Trans, because that would explain things better. I think they're Cis male which is what makes it so weird.

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7637072 - Monday 21 May 2018 1:24

Why is your mom trying to get you to wear women's panties? What kind of relationship do you have?

protoskore | 26

#7644402 - Wednesday 6 June 2018 19:57

one possibility is that they're poor, the mom is trying to save money on underclothes and assumes the child wouldn't mind since nobody sees the underwear outside the home.