Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Generous
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Get back here
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
With friends like these…
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Catch
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Unreasonable
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
Juggler101 0
First off, smoking will kill you. First hand (smoking it) Second hand (being near it) and THIRD HAND! yeah, theres a third hand. It is when the particles from the smoke latch onto clothing and furniture. If ussualy dosent affect adults but it KILLS infants and babies and kids. So if you smoke in your car with your child in it, your child will always being inhaling fuems from that car everytime they go in, even if you stop. And everyone saying us non smokers are babies becasue we are smart and dont wanna die, you are the ones crying and screaming at us. I just hate people throwing their life away. They say if a smoker saved their money they didnt spend on smoking in one year, they could by a Porshe (sorry, forget where i found) i hope all you go to a helping center to quit because it is easy to say "i can quit", but in reality, its almsot impossible (ALMOST!) Lastly, ENJOY YOUR CANCER!
piderman13 0
Smokers are not people. Neither are Hobos. I'll sit on my "high-horse" all I want. I'm not going to get lung cancer because of Smokers choosing to kill themselves, and affect everyone nearby. Enjoy your cancer!
louisianagrrrrl 0
You deserve it for smoking menthols
mikaela33194 0
#82 There's a flaw in your argument. People saying you are more likely to die or get lung cancer if you smoke are not anywhere close then telling a gay man he's probably going to die of AIDS. Being gay does not increase your chances of becoming HIV+, unprotected sex, sharing needles, etc do. And statistically gay men in the United States are the highest transmission case but only by 4,000 cases, right after that is heterosexual behavior. And when looking at the world statistics, it's actually African females who have the highest rate of transmission. But the main difference is that in your ignorant comparison A (being a gay man) does not increase B (contracting HIV) it's an action (unsafe sex or unsafe drug use). Where as the non smokers in this chain are saying A (someone who smokes) has a higher chance of B (getting lung cancer). And I'm going to guess that A (you) have a higher chance at continuing to make B (stupid arguments).
Jessyca_fml 0
:P LoL well the good part of the story is that you got to keep your cig and not have to hand a bum a cig. :)
ohhhhshizzz 0
#100: you are an idiot, seriously. Cigarettes are filtered? If they were then why would they give you cancer? Have you ever heard of someone dying from smoking weed? NO. And you can get high off of weed second hand, but you can't die from it. #103: I have honestly lived with smoking my whole LIFE, and well obviously I'm not dead:) but where did you hear/read that?
starvingxartist 0
wow, #104, you're an asshole.
babawaba 0
Smokers are even more likely than gays to get AIDs anyways, since they are morons you know.... Enjoy your cancer AND future AIDs. rage moar plzthxbai @#103: Dont worry, it'll happen... but even more importantly: be sure to write a FML when it does =o
buctastic 0
#106 I understand what you're saying. But heres the difference, people aren't saying "you're probably gonna get cancer", they're saying smokers ARE going to get cancer. So with that aspect of it, is my argument really that stupid? I didn't say you might get AIDS because you're gay. I said you will get it. Just like I've been told like 20 times on this comment page today that i WILL get cancer.
babawaba 0
@#106: If you keep doing it, you will, unless something else kills you first. Fact Sorry.