Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML
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Top comments
flirty19 0
YDI for smoking.
Lizzy86 0
haha! thats hilarious! btw, i smoke menthols too, i like the way they clear my nose.
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Comments (257)
Shadydeals 0
Menthols are pretty nasty, then again I guess I dont smoke no more so menthols are still nasty.
oloie 0
smoking is horrible, somepeople say its worse for you then marajana... and if your not alowed to have taht why in hell should you be alowed to smoke?
AkihiroHattori5 0
Just to support my fellow anti-smokers: people who smoke are idiots because they're basically paying a lot of money for a disease. To the smokers that defend smoking, at least we'll be able to laugh while you gasp for air with your corroded lungs and end up spending the rest of your life bedridden and connected to a respirator =D
ohhhhshizzz 0
#74: EVERYONE, bashes people who smoke weed. It's a freaking free for all on this website to hate people for no ******* reason. #79: Every black person I know, and is in my family who smokes, smokes something like Salem or something or nother:) And why say go enjoy your cancer? That is really mean. But it can happen, I hope it doesn't my mom FINALLY quit, my aunts are developing breathing problems, my grandpa had lung cancer[died.], and my grandma has bronchitis. I know how hard it is for them to quit, so I'm not gonna say anything mean. And I don't smoke, tried. It sucks. Beggars can't be choosers, that was one stupid hobo. Should have slapped him:)
Melodyfire 0
prolly not an actual hobo....
Macarooni 0
I dont know if anyone has mentioned this but.... he never actually called the OP cheap... just the cigs... just saying
gumcuzzler 0
thats what you get for being a douchebag ahahahahahahahah
starvingxartist 0
don't knock smoking til you try it. and even though your mommies and your teachers told you that smoking means you're a bad person, at least we're not the ones saying we'll laugh at people with cancer. and you know what's worse is potheads who think smoking cigarettes is gross cause it gives you cancer. at least cigarettes are filtered. anyways, so yeah, you should've been like good, more for me, asshole. menthols are better. oh and someone said that newports are cheap. no they're not? where i live they're like a dollar more than camels, which you know, are the best.
yeahreally 6
lmfao!!!
kellster 2
Wow, you smoke AND you're cheap. What a winner!