Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to...

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 5 698

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 4 763

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 645

You deserved it 29 342

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 859

You deserved it 8 327

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 359

You deserved it 7 465

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 312

You deserved it 33 844

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 233

You deserved it 8 479

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:52 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 199

You deserved it 8 472

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 5 182

By Porkchop05 - 06/09/2009 05:44 - Canada

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 995

You deserved it 14 731

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 4 984

CitizenSnipz 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:48

Both of you were eating a delicious snack filled with cream. He was just seeing how it was for you!

doctorr_fml 9

Thursday 14 January 2010 23:44

that blows

Comments

zeebruhxoxo 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 3:22

hahaha

fakeaccountX 6

Saturday 12 June 2010 20:18

You suck at giving head, then. Simple as that.

animal_XD 1

Wednesday 23 June 2010 1:52

Suck harder than sweetie :)

Jelly13_14 0

Friday 9 July 2010 6:16

his truthly stupid no ofeance haha

japanese_boy 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 10:21

hey twinkies are the best but i doubt they're better than getting head

Djmitchell92 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:49

shit holla at me, I'll eat afterwards.

lamargus 0

Monday 2 August 2010 6:00

this fml has already been done

gymdiva1 0

Friday 27 August 2010 5:11

whts head?

MoreThan1lol 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 8:34

I'm adding this to my favorites that was funny

MoreThan1lol 0

Friday 3 September 2010 8:07

emrysa- yea awesome movie, my first twice was after I saw it. a pastry never tasted so good..... *tear*

Keywords

Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music TV shows Animals Dogs Relatable Sports Weird Love AITA Cheating Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Work Capitalism Money Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Intimacy Sextoys Pranks

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Today, a body positivity influencer I greatly respected and admired suddenly died. When I tried to read about her death, all I found were thousands of comments fat-shaming and mocking her. I was crying so hard that people thought I'd had a death in the family, which I kind of did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 642

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 808

You deserved it 31 011

The Top

Today, in an attempt to keep my valuables safe, I snatched my PlayStation 4 controller from the hands of my 4-year-old nephew. Not knowing that it was connected, I ultimately yanked the PlayStation and the HD Flatscreen flat on their faces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 7 866

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 940

You deserved it 1 833

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 362

You deserved it 44 660

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 864

You deserved it 6 654

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 096

You deserved it 42 133

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 959

You deserved it 9 787

Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

Ouch

Say yes

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