By ABBenzin - 01/02/2012 16:11 - United States

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 415
You deserved it 3 772

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Top comments

Ohh sht, the first sentence of this FML is so misleading lmao

Ha I started reading like "you deserved it" then Im like oh no that sucks


Ohh sht, the first sentence of this FML is so misleading lmao

mama2b3 20

I know! I started reading and I was like what the hell? lol

I would think that the homeowner would be with him, and be able to vouch for him. Seems kind of strange to me...

Yeah, I almost YDI'd it before reading it.

I read the first sentence, then looked at the votes, and went "wtf?". Then I read the rest of the FML.

enonymous 8

I feel no remorse for YDI. YDI for phrasing it that way

K_kanaka 26

Damn I almost pushed YDI good thing I read rest of it. Sorry for thinking you were bad OP

50- "for phrasing it that way"? First, OP made the FML sound 5x more interesting by starting it the way he did. & second, just because he phrased it that way doesn't mean it's not an FML & that you shouldn't feel remorse...

RoseTintMyWorld 8

This FML and the one after both start out so misleading.

50- That's what makes the fml original and interesting.

50 was obviously being sarcastic. I got your back

I started reading and was like... "Why would they even post this...?"

Ok everyone I think we have established that the first sentence is misleading.

dayyyum #1

tjv3 10

Nice wording OP. man the po pos must be bored


MubeenMV3- what's the mistake? I've been trying to gues for a while. . .

OP your not black are you cause I am and if you were they probably would have shot you then sprinkled crack on the body and said it was gang violence

I read the first sentence, then looked at the votes and was like what the fuck?

sorry op but the police were just doing their job. you have to addmit, the scene sounds dodgy

I DID press it @35

Ha I started reading like "you deserved it" then Im like oh no that sucks

Yo dawg, I heard you like overused meme's. Y U fail?

Yup I sure indeed failed :(

Llama_Face89 33

66- twice. Your sentence structure makes me cringe...

Yes that def sucks

apepe78 1

What? Please double check your grammar.

waveringatom 1

Wasn't the homeowner with you?

My thoughts exactly

That pretty much sums the ''?'' of this fml...

3, The simple answer to your question is: no.

cooldes_fml 4

If i was the locksmith even with the homeowner next to me we would just look like two robbers with a clever excuse

breeY0 7

homeowners dont look like homeowners without keys !

When my parents don't have their keys on them they're almost unrecognisable dark shadows of the people they usually are...

I just use the garage code. Am I a shadow? :(

No, you're just a horrible human being. I'm sorry.

MrsUresti 8


What a very original comment.

You say the same thing on every comment like this. How "original".

Oh i'm sorry, here's an original comment: "Yes, we all thought it was funny, now make a funny comment, NOW!!!" Does this appeal to your taste's, Mr. Critic?

No. You just sound like a broken record. Just thumbs down the comment, much simpler.

@44: Sounds like he's *puts on sunglasses* An Original Prankster

So misleading first sentence. Well you can't blame the cops. It would look like a B&E from them.

If you got jail time, they would not be able to 'throw away the key'. As you could craft another!

EvilTwerp 12

I wonder what type of questions he was asking that took 20 minutes. "And what is your favorite color?"

They probably had to completely verify that he was a real locksmith and not a fraud burglar. 20 minutes of questions isn't that hard to imagine.

Don't worry, there's plenty to ask about someone when a police officer needs to clarify something. You should be glad, happy even that you think 20min is a long time. Means you've never had a run0in with them, keep it that way (^_^)

Llama_Face89 33

57- I believe what you were attempting to say was, "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

What do you mean, African or European?

Depends if it's migrating a coconut.

bvq25 8

"What? I don't know that!"

ssnowywinter 0

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

ninjuh_wingman 29

I wonder who called the cops.

A person with a phone! :D

What if they just yelled really loudly and the cops had really good hearing? O.o

Probably the neighbors

Fuck the police? I think so ...

Such a stupid thing to say. Police aren't given enough credit for what they do. What if he wasn't a lock smith and was about to wipe that house clean?

TheDrifter 23

Fuck them? He's at work, do you really think the op has the time to take a sex break after losing 20 minutes to their questioning?

turdontoast 8

Are you guys not familiar with the Fuck the Police meme?

TheDrifter 23

Meme? No. I do however know the NWA song by that name though.

53. Thanks. You sir have helped made my day.

Good. It's good to hear that the police are actually doing their jobs and attempting to prevent real crime, not bullshit "crime" like busting pot smokers. If you were actually a burglar they would have done the right thing.

Pot is illegal so busting potheads wouldn't be a "bullshit crime". They would be doing their jobs.

SecretMe00 5


54, I think their point is that they're resolving an issue that affects people and isn't just something made illegal to save people from themselves. The police should be focusing more on the crimes perpetuated on them by others, not just arresting someone for doing something deemed stupid by the law but with little impact on the community - especially since arresting them doesn't resolve the situation in any way.

Lol I was about to press ydi

Lol and I was about to thumb you down... Oh wait, I did.