Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
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Top comments
MubeenMV3 5
Ohh sht, the first sentence of this FML is so misleading lmao
babybebop2 4
Ha I started reading like "you deserved it" then Im like oh no that sucks
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Comments (151)
Inediblepeaches 15
Dude, get a new job.
KiddNYC1O 22
Almost immediate YDI.
charmanderCHAR 5
why?
KiddNYC1O 22
Infamous misleading first sentence?
TinyGiant 4
I don't get it. Where the f was the homeowner?
yeongji 31
Where on earth is the owner? If he/she was not around when you were trying to get the door opened, then YDI for thinking that you did not deserve what you got from the police. If he/she was around and ran away for awhile, then it is truly a FYL.
bizarre_ftw 22
Low crime rate area and over curious neighbors most likely, Neighbors call police, police can't tell a crime from their ass, there you go. Sorry about the hell night sir
darnellq 13
Seems like the police CAN tell a crime from their ass. Seeing as how they didn't actually charge him when they learned he was a locksmith. He should have presented credentials immediately and had his vehicle properly labeled that he is a locksmith.
marilyn2012 0
Haha good story to tell tho. Sucks u lost ur time n patience lol
downtime 13
Mine says "Unemployed". I should really update that.
grannygruber 6
And the rest of the story? Let me guess, once the cops left you finished the 'job' and scored some nice jewelry and electronics?
mercsl65 7
excellent fml. i get questioned once a month tho...
hecseferblade 1
in russia, locks pick you!