Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
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Top comments
MubeenMV3 5
Ohh sht, the first sentence of this FML is so misleading lmao
babybebop2 4
Ha I started reading like "you deserved it" then Im like oh no that sucks
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Comments (151)
arak_fml 7
YDI, for looking like thug.
takenover 15
Yes, I agree with the others the intro was very misleading. I was all, "um, that's what happens when you try to break in and steal from people". But then I read the rest of the FML post. While it's good that the police are doing their job it still sucks to have to go through that I am sure.
Epic_story17 0
i believe u just wanted to post something up next time try something more real
Jaxx66 21
Hehe. Your comment on burglars breaking windows instead reminds me of a class my sister was in... D.A.R.E had come to her school and asked the kids "What does a bad guy look like?" all the kids answered with things like, ski masks/face covering and ugly or mean looking. I suppose the same principle applies here, they normally aren't smart burglars, but I'd still wonder if I saw someone crouching at a door with the tools to pop the lock.
annihil8or 15
Not exactly "breaking into a house" if you work as a locksmith, learn how to write.
missnuthin 10
i don't blame them for being careful. i mean, how ingenious of a cover would that be for a thief?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@ saysayok but as I pointed out not that many people just carry their wallet around the house or when they run out to check the mail, so while the address may be on the I.D. , the I.D. may be in the locked house.
friedeggyolive 7
517 people hit "you deserved it" as soon as they read "I was breaking into a house"
FrankHotpants 31
At least they were doing their job.
kombatmp 1
I've had to do the something to someone trying to get in their own house.