Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
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Top comments
MubeenMV3 5
Ohh sht, the first sentence of this FML is so misleading lmao
babybebop2 4
Ha I started reading like "you deserved it" then Im like oh no that sucks
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Comments (151)
adonaisnavarro 0
Why did you say you were breaking into a house when you weren't I'm giving this a low rating.
Pazu_fml 10
This doesn't really seem like a FML or a YDI -- it seems like a normal situation that ought to happen from time to time if part of your job is essentially breaking into houses. It'd make for a pretty good crime spree if a thief went around posing as a locksmith, so I can't blame the police for being thorough.
vbmg152 19
Very well- written!!
sndvex 0
a burgler could totally impersonate a locksmith... its not that hard to steal a van, just sayin'.
hahaha1699 0
holy shit that sucks
hateevryone 15
why did you say you were breaking in?
apepe78 1
This doesn't make sense...wasn't the homeowner with you?
shockhead101 6
Didn't know the police ran your SSI # theses days I thought your DL is all they need. Seems like they checked your credit score too.
firewilson 1
a likely story. so how long have you been a burglar?
onlychildFTW 34
Misleading intro. But good ending. At least he wasn't actually arrested or something.