Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, three policemen interrogated me and asked for ID, but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MubeenMV3 5
Ohh sht, the first sentence of this FML is so misleading lmao
babybebop2 4
Ha I started reading like "you deserved it" then Im like oh no that sucks
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
perdix 31
That locksmith act sure is a good cover for your life of crime.
WCARlover 35
Hey at least they're doing their job
Takuya272727 16
Three though? I think they're a little eager... But then again, things can get out of hand...
disney_blonde 16
Why weren't the homeowners with you?
THE_A_TEEN 28
You are a very sick, twisted, horrible individual. Here's my number (passes card). Call he for an appoinment for a lobotomy. :D
flockz 20
i think my potato gun would come in handy for this situation.
jerseyboy732 16
my donut gun would have worked better
DrMime 10
Ah the old locksmith excuse! I tried that when I got busted for running a speakeasy, didn't really work, or make sense...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Ooooo I'm glad you cleared that up or I would have pressed YDI for breaking into someone's house. lol But yes, where in the world were the owners? They probably ran off when they saw the cops show up. :D
Qluz 3
They're on to you Mr. Locksmith! Courir courir!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Apperantly the cops thought you wee a key suspect in a string of burglaries that happen during this past month. I hope that this has unlocked a door in your brain that tells you that you have to,be more cautious with your apperance. The tumblers have moved for you, my friend. Lock that dispair away. Be happy you weren't wrongfully locked away by the cops or thrown away the key. Have a nice life.
Robro54 6
Doesn't matter, got paid.
SamCat 21
hopefully he got a tip as well.