By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 693
You deserved it 3 321

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Mother of god.....the zombies are coming

He is lucky no one took him seriously and took a baseball bat to him!

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Mother of god.....the zombies are coming

Can you somehow force him into the Army? They will sort the little bugger out.

1 They have zombie apocalypse survival classes now. The only one I've heard of is in Calgary but if you're concerned you can go up there and learn how to use a crossbow.

15 you've never lived near an army base, huh? I live near one in Korea. The US soldiers are idiotic douchebags that give the rest of us Americans living here a bad image. I would hope OP would have higher expectations for her son.

silbot 11

It got him out of school, what a genius

The people thumbing 33 down? Talk about an overreaction. The guy never said all soldiers are like that, just a lot of the ones in the base near where he lives. I know you're terrified of appearing "unpatriotic" or "un-American", but the really unpatriotic thing is to pretend all soldiers are perfect. They aren't - they're human, and a lot of humans are douchebags, no matter what job they take. Why's that so hard to accept? Part of patriotism is caring about your country and improving it, not praising it no matter how bad it is and turning a blind eye to the shitty elements of it.

65-thank you for being a true human being. Not a true American because that would mean only Americans could think what you just said, which is far from the truth. You deserve a hug from Morgan Freeman.

Why the thumbs down? I am simply saying that people from all over the world can be kind and rational and see that their country has flaws and can own up to them. I wasn't saying Americans don't think this way, just that we aren't the only ones!

ILUVMSC 5

Omg. It IS happening. :o

He is lucky no one took him seriously and took a baseball bat to him!

CaptainDoorknob 7

OP be lucky the police weren't called otherwise your son would've been shot a bare minimum of 62,921 times.

Is he sparkly too? I bet the bath salts made him sparkly, gave him superpowers.

The bath salts are supposed to turn you into "zombies," not vampires.

crazyluvbug 8

I really like your profile pic. Did you draw it?

21 - Vampires don't sparkle.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

21 meant fairies. I hope.

Ok do I made this in reference to how he was pretending to be a zombie. And I was sarcastically asking, in a sense, what's next? Pretending he's a vampire? Worse, one from twilight.

Actually no 25, I found it somewhere on the internet and I thought it was a pretty funny picture so I used it. Plus I needed a profile picture, and I just used the first picture that popped up in my picture library.

That kid needs to be sectioned!

Pay some kid to bite him...see how HE likes being chewed on. OR when you feed him meat tell him it's human flesh after he eats it(; that should hopefully cure him..

ginnygoggorgon 3

Wouldn't telling him the meat was human only increase his cannibalism?because he thinks the delicious cow is a human?

Since he doesn't actually bite chunks of meat off of people I think it would actually turn him off quite a bit.

Kids are moving from "just biting people" to "biting people because they say they're on bath salts"? Crap, they're trying to give reasoning for being assholes.

Except he's not exactly a child. This doesn't count as being an asshole as much as plain retardation.

perdix 29

I guess it'd better than admitting you're a "Twilight" freak.

aliyourpally 12

the apocalypse is here D;

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy! But I'm in bath salts, your face looks tasty.

Ugh, that's getting so over-used. I think I saw that "parody" about 15 times the day after that incident was in the news.

thefatman38 4

No no no, there is only two reasons this song should be sung one if it's the chat roulette version dude is f'n hilarious and two hey I just met u and your a lady well there's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

46, you need to calm down

HOLY BLOODY SH*T. How original.

wanderingshopper 13

I'd say he's majorly asking for some attention.