Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RodzillaX 30
Those lines do get very long and boring.
cuppycakeslove 20
Ugh, call security, that's public indecency and so disrespectful if its a family park.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
girlbye23 15
Haha no. Thats an immaturity thing.
Huddisher 10
If someone is that disgusting to grope someone in public; especially an amusement park, then that's just gross. If someone did that in front of my kids, I'd report them to the park.
skyeyez9 25
What a *****! There is a time and place (private) for that. Playing with your boyfriends balls in front of little kids is creepy. It is the equivalent of the pervert in the white van who jacks off in front of kids on school property.
gallaeo 21
That was my first thought too. In my mind that pretty much is on the same level of indecency, & I would lay money on there being laws against that for sure. I think OP could have pressed charges if they pursued it.
Ray_of_midnight 23
I grew up in NJ, people like those two make me glad I escaped. :-P
Spark_Slicker 19
That is utterly repulsive. How sleazy and indecent can people be?
Omniprism 15
Oh wow. Some people have no courtesy or respect. I would have reported them and had them removed.
mmaaccii17 7
If they brought everyone's attention to them, more kids would've noticed...not a good thing.
molliciousj 19
That's the world now days! 14 and pregnant, kids dressing like strippers, sending nude pictures all around...Totally not surprised!
lostribe 3
She's gross, yes, but it's not all about your kids to anyone who doesn't have them and would prefer not to share space around them.
Xalandra 17
Um, if they don't want to be around kids then they shouldn't have gone to an amusement park. There's NOTHING wrong with expecting people to act decently around young children. Kids have a right to remain innocent and ignorant about sexual acts until they get to highschool. Some slutty teenager has no right to force the "birds and the bees" on young children. They don't need to know that until they hit puberty.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
I would have slapped her & called the police/security or whoever can kick the girl out!